


The Walled City

by RickedFanfics



Category: SHINee
Genre: Blood and Gore, F/M, M/M, Murder Kink, Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickedFanfics/pseuds/RickedFanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>( In the 50’s two young brothers Jinki  and Taemin . Needed to escape the demonolatry of their Father, to Kowloon, in the City Of Darkness. were no rules apply.) </p><p>Here prostitutes installed themselves on one side of the street, while a priest preached and handed out powered milk to the poor on the other. Social workers gave guidance, while drug addicts squatted under stairs getting high, what were children’s games centers  by day became strip shows by night . It’s a very complex place, difficult to generalize about , a place that seemed frightening  but  Taemin is the kind of boy who was born for this city of darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a real place- that was- 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, I have it all ready and done to post, once a week.
> 
>  
> 
> You shall not make for yourself an idol,  
> in the form of anything in heaven  
> above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.  
> You shall not bow down to them or worship them:  
> For I, the Lord your God , am a jealous God.

                                                          

 

 

 

 

China never dropped its claim of jurisdiction and the sovereignty fight remained unresolved. The result was that it became a lawless enclave and a hotbed for criminal activity

In December 1899, after several unsuccessful attempts to clear the city, the British announced their jurisdiction was to be extended to include it and the Chinese officials left.

The city became isolated.

While parts were leased to church-runners, charitable institutions, much was left to fall into disrepair. By 1940 only the Lung Chun School, its gateway, and one private home remained. When the Japanese invaded in the Second World War, they demolished the oldest standing part of the walled city - its wall.  
But the destruction didn’t prevent Chinese refugees flocking to the site after the war.

Rents are low, and there’s no concern about taxes, visas or licenses.  
By 1947 there were 2,000 squatter camps on the site. Permanent buildings followed, and by 1949, 10,000 people occupied 2,185 dwellings.

Filled with slum, rats and dripping sewage and defended by those who live there. Populated with 35,000 people crammed into a few tiny apartment blocks and more then 300 interconnected high-rise buildings, all constructed without any contributions from a single architect.  
The government try’s to clear the city several times, but on each occasion the residents threaten to create a diplomatic incident.

The attitude - handy when it comes down to keeping the noses of the authorities out of their business - is that the city is part of china and would never belong to Hong Kong. And to avoid damaging Sino-British relations, the government adopted a largely hands-off policy towards Kowloon.

1951

It’s called a lawless twilight zone by some and the world’s most overcrowded squat by others. But too many, Kowloon walled city is simply home.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and  
> Forth generation of those who hate me,  
> But showing love to a thousand  
> generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
> 
> Exodus 19:7, the ten commandments.

 

                                                             

 

 

 

 

Here prostitutes installed themselves on one side of the street, while a priest preached and handed out powered milk to the poor on the other. Social workers gave guidance, while drug addicts squatted under stairs getting high, what were children’s games centers by day became strip shows by night . It’s a very complex place, difficult to generalize about , a place that seemed frightening but Taemin is the kind of boy who was born for this city of darkness.

A bratty sixteen year old who can’t find anything better to do then bad. He walks around a man washing his clothes and children who wait for their parents to finish washing.  
Well it could be or not be their parents, but they wouldn’t care if it was or not, all they think about is playing and fun. They don’t see things the way you do when you see it knowingly. Not innocently.  
But I have no say so with how innocents works or what ever the fuck it is; my father took that away from me.

Jinki landed us inside this city of darkness, The clothes drain dirty water as I wriggle it, when I had first seen how bad the sanitation was I freaked. It smelt, it still does, but you get use to it living with it, nobody cares after they get use to it. Nothing here is right The only mind set is just doing things to get by everyday; even with its lack of safety from the people that live here…. Like me. With drunks and Druggy’s at night baring the fact that they’ll never leave this filthy place, never be something they want to be.

At the moment young girls are being kidnapped, I frown my brows.  
Money in turn to torture and kill them. I sigh flicking the wet shirt placing it with the rest of the clothes.  
I’m trying my hardest to keep myself away; Wracking my brain on what to do, go for it and do what I’ve been brought up to do. Or save the young girls, be a protector in my own way. What would you do, with the mind like mine.  
But Then I can’t, who I’ve made myself become wants to stay, clinging to me. Making me dwell on it; Ah, but then again it’s not like I’m doing that good either, just because I’m helping those who had needed it by, killing. It just quenches my thirst to wet my hands in blood. In a kind of good way. I put all four red buckets on the long bamboo stick. Bending down I grip the bamboo and set it over my shoulders lifting with my knees; I begin my walk up the staircases.

There’s darkness every corner you turn, I close my eyes and think off. Remembering the days with my father and uncle, bright and cool winded summer day.  
Our naked skin warmed by the sun, laid out on that yellow picnic blanket, kissing touching, moaning.  
I groan, lick and bite my bottom lip, wiping my sweat with the back of my forearm.  
Opening my eyes to the dark hall. I could almost smell the sex; I huff bouncing the yoke comfortably on my shoulders behind my neck.

The only sunlight I get to see, a layer outside this cram packed city.  
I beg Jinki to take me out when ever he can.  
But he’s always busy, building and installing, making this shity ass city bigger.  
I like my brother to an extent. . He doesn’t know much about are mother, and when he asks I refuse to tell  
him.  
There’s a lot about her that would make Jinki. .so. . I don’t know how he would take it.  
If he’d want me to stay around, what if one thing leads to other and every good bit of my life tumbles down the high stacked hill I’ve made with lies and truths. I don’t won’t my pile wobbling down because of him.

He knows me to an extent, the things I did. . .bad and fucked up as I acted he still took me with him.  
I’ve fought him to burses and cuts, held a knife to him, made up lies so my dad could beat him to a pulp, things that lead us here.

I did it so he could see the things I got to see, make him aware of this life I had with dad.  
Made him watch homemade porn of me and my family members, had him go down to the basement the first night he was home.  
He screamed trying to help this boy, a boy who again is apart of my pile of secrets. Jinki’s seen me first hand having sex with dad, he’s seen me rolling joints with my uncle smoking and acting like crazy fools, coke mixed in, my grandfather a heroin user, dad did everything but meth is his favorite.  
I wanted Jinki to see; that I got the shit end of the stick, while he had a loving family normal and sane for gods sake.  
Jinki had it all, which meant he has a heart. And didn’t need to force me to come live a normal life with him, but Jinki did and I went with him.  
I just didn’t like him though no matter what he did and try’s to do I can’t like him.

Fuck when I was younger he acted like he was my dad, I had to obey him, do this and that and be quiet when people were around.  
My foul mouth let out every feeling I encountered.  
It’s hard when you’ve lived a way for so long and then your perfect brother jumps into the picture and makes you do it his way.  
I was my own boss with my dad and he let me, so at twelve young and unhappy with life I found every little bad thing I could do, and I did it to get him to remember who was boss.  
Who made him get beat, made him see things he’d never see if not for me.  
I was his next big problem for as long as he tried to over rule me, thinking he could change me, all he did just made me hate him so much.

My birth was a curse, fuck I bit my mother one year in.  
My father bragged I love my father, I wonder at times how he is, what he looks like.  
Hell I want nothing more then to write him.  
But I hold myself back; I couldn’t do that to my brother, I can’t leave him now.

I get this urge to just be around Jinki, that’s what makes this hard.  
My chest hurts, shit; I put the yoke down and lean against the dirty wall.  
I’m on the eighth floor and I’m worn out.  
I watch two children run around, and catch a good looking guy whom I happen to know.

“Hi” I smile at him, walking to me.

\- 1-

 

“Where have you been?” He grins back and holds my waist tightly.  
I nibble on my lip and look up at him.

“Around, but let’s talk about when we can meet up again.” I grin

“Anytime you want, you know my hours.” We grin and I lick my lips, leaning in to kiss.  
Quick to the point and not seen by the kids.

“I’ll see you later Logan.” I smile bending down to lift the yoke up and behind my neck and over my shoulders.  
I look back at him and smirk, a handsome man he is.  
I turn and walk past other kids and men and woman about there life on this level.  
Nearing the next flight of stairs, I fix the yoke not minding the burning in my legs as I climb up another set of stairs.

A light green bulb on this flat flickers the noise sending me back to memories, of my grandfather torturing in the basement. Dark and wet, the only light close to burning out and buzzing, blood dripping off the tables onto the already thick layers of others. Bathtubs filled with filthy water were he’d toss people in to keep them cold, sometimes instead of water ice filled it. Things to torture hang above tables, some with chins to hold the person down. One table coved with medicine and needles. And others covered with knifes cutters scalpels. I remember a time when I walked in, watching him cut a girl, being opened, taking the muscle off, organs and guts being taken out. He looked over at me, and I must have had been smiling, because he smiled back “get over here and help me out kid”

He held a bucket out with a hand covered in blood. I held it while he put the organs into buckets of ice, and the other shit would be stew; body muscles soon to be in the stomachs of my large family on the property. Oh the screaming, oh god I loved, one of them he hacked off her arms at the elbows grabbed salt and cupped it to the raw wound. She screamed so loud, I could almost remember her voice begging for him to kill her and put her of her misery. She lived two horrors filled days before that happened.

The numbness, I think, is what gets me by, the thing I do to get me by each damn day. A fool to grab pills beer anything. To block the darkness in me, the creeping darkness of blood, blood. I sigh and , looking around me, the dark flat lit lightly by a green covered bulb. Hellish air blocking my lungs from pure oxygen. Even with my wife beater and shorts I still feel like I’m suffocating.

I wait on this flat to catch my breath, thinking off I wonder how my granddad’s health is. When I and Jinki ran away he was sick but pulling through it. And I wonder why my father hasn’t found us, he’s a smart man. How he hasn’t shown up yet means something bad has happened or bad feelings are being built up till then. I’ll give Jinki credit though for finding this place and making sure we never leave knowing what are father is capable of.

I rub my brow with the back of my hand and pick the yoke back up, I wanna go out tonight, it’s not like I want to go far or anything just across the way too that new club. Jinki will probably say no though; sighing it off I keep going up.

We’ve been here five years and it gets bigger each month, more and more people coming here.  
Drugs every corner children running past whores. It’s like living on the streets, cheap and dirty, just covered by walls. No where to go but alleys and stairways up.  
Fuck I can’t count how many times I’ve gotten lost, or how crazy I get if I don’t catch fresh air every once in a while.  
Dark and nasty paths makeshift piping dripping and hanging low, people use umbrellas to shield themselves from the consent dripping of water. And when it rains the bottom floor floods with swage and trash close to being waist high.

But the people still work, like busy ants going back and forth through tunnels. Carrying creates on their shoulders, determination to get to the destination, like my brother. As Jinki likes to say, the sunshine always follows the rain. He and his goody two shoe self. I thank god sickly that him and mom never got to know each other. She’d favor him over me, well hell she did just by sending him away from the hell house I was chosen to live in.

Frowning I watch my feet, Kowloon may be tight-knit and friendly, but not everyone is a good person.

At night the red light district opens, the red lights blurring out what you don’t want to see Opium parlors, whorehouses gambling dens run by triads, heroin stands, and dog restaurants all multiplying in the past month. I have no clue how long this will last, but police, health inspectors and even tax collectors fear to tread on the grounds of Kowloon. Another reason why Jinki chose to move here, anyway I give it a good decade of problems before it’s taken down. With it I be the one providing my body and time to the red light district. Just another lie to hide.

My brother’s friend makes sells and uses coke. He’s filthy rich living above everyone, Jonghyun worked for what he’s got, and there’s not a day he’s not working. Doing what he does since he was twelve; at twelve for Jinki was a good time. He tends to talk about what he’s learned from his moments in life at a nice school and home food, nice aunts - they’re gay and his old friends. I get bitter feelings each story told. He got to know are mother’s family with smiles good hearts and stability.

-2-

 

Jinki and I make enough to have a nice room; at first we lived in a 70 sq ft room in a two-storey house near Tung Tau Chuen Road, which we shared with another family. One year later we moved to a two-bedroom flat on the fourth floor of a high-rise on Tai Cheng Street, now we moved up to the tenth floor that Jinki made.  
He’s still working on getting running water to the room at the moment.

Without tap to are room right now I have to use one of the two public water pumps here. I do the water runs because I find it rude to make my brother do it; when he works the harder labor then I. I’m to small, not much fit for metal works or building, I do cut and de-bone eel and butcher pork, side fights, drug dealing, selling myself at night. I do what I can do to provide.  
It’s humid already in Hong Kong but throw being block in and rain collecting up top and draining down low with heat, it’s stuffy. Jinki lucked out and got a one bedroom balcony room, air flow is a blessing.

This water is so damn heavy; I stop again and take a breather a few steps to the ninth floor. I’m glad I do, putting the bamboo yoke on top of the four red old buckets; I’d rather do it all at once. Three things of clean water and one with clean clothes ready to be hung outside.

My father. . .had cursed me at birth, his past generations leading me to my ways. Killing hating. Sinning, my life feels like a lie now. Sitting and waiting for moments to get my hands bloody, for the feeling to pass and leave me alone until it hits again. The dark warm home walking the old wood halls, the sound of the house settling creaking.  
I smile at two passer by’s and they smile back. I grab the yoke and lift it half way, bending down to rest it on my shoulder and stand. I’m ready to keep going up, walking to the next flat I sigh and put the buckets down again. I’m sore from last nights fight I hear a pleasant sound of begging. By the sound of it a man; saying I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please- My eye’s go wide when I hear the echoing pop of a gun. I don’t want to get involved.

Was he shot, I wonder swallowing; knowing just who’s on the ninth floor and what they’re capable of. Members of the 14k, k for Kowloon fourteen because there’s fourteen of them. I didn’t bring my knife; so I stay in my place and wait for them to walk down. I hate these guys, so high and mighty, noses up their asses.  
They can’t be to far up, that shot was loud.

I listen to the multiple footsteps coming down the flight of stirs and around the corner, I bite my lip, they come down the green lit landing. Two men stop to readjust their hold on the passed out mans arms. One with black spiked hair and black sharp eye’s, his shirt red and ripped up, gray jeans ripped and torn to, they hang low enough to see his blue boxers. The other one has cherry red hair, must be dyed, his eye’s close to cat like, dark blue pupils, his outfit clean a button up black shirt and ironed dark blue slacks, black shoes shined. They look at me and I bow my head, watching their backs as they keep on going down carrying the dead weight. He looks okay, no sign of bleeding or that he was shot, I frown my brows in confusion and take it as a warning shot was what I hared.  
It must’ve scared him so bad that he passed out, and like a wicked person I grin like a fool. Who knows what that mans done? He could be a sick fucker in need to be dealt with, or maybe a druggy that couldn’t pay what he owed. I want to laugh it off and keep walking until the top boss’s son walks down, a grin on his face; he catches my stare and smirks.

“Fucking pussy” He says and points at the man being haled down the steps.

The two men not really caring for the body, legs dragging, the red head almost drops him. They laugh when one losses his grip before they turn the corner, I laugh myself covering my mouth, watching them scramble around to fix the way they want to carry him down. My laughter making the son turn around to wink at me. My eye twitches and I turn my head grinding my teeth, mother fucker thinks he’s something.

I sigh and lift up the heavy yoke and keep going up to are flat. Are room is four doors down; the hall creaks as I walk. The light dim and the smell is powerful to the nose, I scrunch my face. An older gentleman that lives next to us walks in from the roof, carrying his bird cage in.

“How are you doing Rick.” he moved here to run away from the authorities in America. He killed his family. We even saw the news on papers and t.v over here; I was shocked to know he lived next to us. No children where involved and he won’t bring it up. If he doesn’t touch me then I don’t have a problem with the guy.

-3-

 

“Oh, I could be better” He answers, I raise a brow and put the water down again so I can talk. Meeting him half way and at his door.

“How’s izzy holding up?” I smile at the bird and lean my head down clicking my tongue.

“His wing is getting better, but he still refuses to leave the cage.” I frown and look up at him.

“I wonder why?” He smiles watching me talk to the bird, He’s not one of those ugly guys from the U.S. tanned skin, abs and graying brown hair. He stays clean shaved and keeps to himself.

“Well Rick, if he needs to be watched or anything, let me know.” I straighten my back and smile at him. His name is funny, it’s not his real name and I don’t think he’ll ever tell me his real one. Rick is just so American.

“I will he likes you a lot.” I smile and pick up the water and pass his door

Jinki’s sleeping, so I stay as quite as I can and open the door lightly, and close it lightly. The first thing I do is put the heavy ass load on the ground water splashes out I pay no mind and grab the clothes. Walking past the little bedroom and smile at the sleeping man, cheek pressed against his pillow, mouth open and snoring, wearing nothing but his boxers.

I walk out to are caged balcony, the hangers are cleared Jinki must have cleared them. Always doing something more for me. . . The day we left father is a few weeks away from now; you’ve taken such good care of me at seventeen. I remember the day you heard of this place, and knew it’s where you could take me and make it a home for me.

When we got here I was a bratty twelve year old, making trouble for you. I think you knew that I would do some shit, probably just not what you were thinking. But now I get it, what life is. Why I went through what I did. How dark and curl it’s become over the years. Or what hunger is, for so much more then meat, so much more then that, this hunger is to kill. To listen to the screams blackout and see red.  
Ridding of my thoughts and actions of the want to kill. I shake my head thinking off.

Jinki’s twenty-four now, and we’re making it. Healthy and well, but who I am is always lingering in my head. What I’m I doing at seventeen better then you, nothing . . . I haven’t done anything that amounts to who Jinki is or what he’s done, he’s smart and strong. A guy that any person looks up to. A guy you want to learn what he knows and do things greatly like he does. Jinki is the best.

I sigh and hang the last piece of clothing and head back in, a plane loudly passes over, and the noise is something I don’t like for one reason-

“God damn man.” My brother groans and sleepily walks in, looking down at the water, blinking for a moment. He picks all three buckets up, his sweaty body flexing. This shirtless Jinki is new to me.  
He’s always been modest about his body, no reason for it either; he’s always been very good looking. But it’s new. .It’s incredibly hot and wearing almost nothing is the best way to handle the heat.  
It took him some time before the heat got to him and he caved in and started wearing nothing.

He’s changed a bit with this place to. Piercing his ears, smoking and letting me do the same, I smile and walk over too help. When he’s not working, he’s self building more buildings, and crating and making things for anyone. He had fixed are toilet to a modern one like we had in our home, it was the first thing he did.

I wonder, maybe it’s a girl. . Boosting up his confidence a brother can’t give.

-4-

 

“How was your day?” he asks me and I shrug, still smiling while filling up water bottles and ice trays.

“same as always”

We use are last ice cubes in two big glasses and pour the clean water into them, and a nice buy tea. Cold ice teas on the balcony, watching the sun go down, the humid air cooling a bit.

“Hey”

I look over at my brother, who’s looking up at the sky through bars. The clouds passing by, birds flying, I feel like a caged cat. Sitting by a window watching the wild birds flying freely, and a human like me is caged in. Its better this way, who knows how I’d be living on the streets of Hong Kong, I’d probably be in jail.

“Let’s go.” I break my thoughts and look away from the sky; I know what he’s going to say, and where we’re going.

“The roof.” I state before he does, It’s an invaluable sanctuary, a lung of fresh air, an escape from claustrophobia of the windowless flats below blocked in by more and more buildings, a caged balcony is nothing next to the roof.

Jinki, he hums a yes looking over at me with a heart warming smile and my lips react so fast, a smile on my face that will stay until someone pisses me off.  
We walk out of the small space outside, into the small kitchen and dinning room, to the left all on one side a fridge the sink and stove oven with cabinets, in the middle sits the round table and three random chairs. Two empty door frames at the right leads to our room, a red iron bunk bed and two dressers in the middle of the two door ways. Next to the front door is the bathroom, just a sink and toilet. A room this small is made for two, but sucks when you want personal room.

I keep the back open to cool the room. When I was younger I thought it’d be fun to count how many steps it takes to the roof. It’s exactly eighty nine steps, not including the last one that leads outside. The steps collect rubbish by the year, some from me and my brother when were younger. Learning the dirty and unsanitary way of this city, my brother wears these black boots he found laying about in one of the alleys, work boots, he would clean them everyday after work. I found it meaningless; why clean them everyday, when everyday they’ll only get dirtier.

Right; I thought I was and brought it up in a fight we were having. I never thought he could get mad at such a thing, and he almost hit me, we hadn’t fought since being at dads.  
Little things that hurt too bad to be honest about, and a lie escapes the mouth, and avoiding the truth comes in hand. Are first fist fit, he won, I knew he would but I was to big headed, and wanted too prove to myself that ‘I could bet my older brother up, fuck him up’ But unfortunately Jinki gave me a good hand of fights.

We near the last steps and Jinki opens the door, we walk around, finding a spot to sit down. It’s always like a breath of fresh air getting out of the city, like when you’re scared so you hide under the blankets but it gets so stuffy and hot you have to pull it down to breath. We find one of the many old mattresses laying up here, that kids dragged up here for bouncing building top to building top. I look around at the mashed together homes, while Jinki lays back, his arms behind his head as a pillow looking up at the sky.

I smile and breathe in. Cable antennas are everywhere, providing black and white channels to the small box TV’s.  
Framework and scaffoldings round against the homes from the men building up, it’s getting too high right here, and to close to touching the belly’s of planes landing. So the building right here has stopped, but there’s still many rooms being made across from this roof. I’ve helped Jinki at times, but it seems that every time I do help, I get cut or hurt, or hurt some in the process. .and it’s always my brothers’ head. I chuckle as we stare up at the sky, twilight. I sit next to my brother and poke his side.

“Give me a smoke bro.”

-5-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the start, give this one a try guys. :)


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CITY OF DARKNESS THE GAME OF REBEL OR MERCY RULED BY AYOUNG GOD 
> 
> When a boy is born, the father has to kill a man. He needs a name for his child and can receive it only by a man, he himself has murdered. When a man wants to marry, he must kill a man. When a man dies, his family again has to kill a man.
> 
> "The Werewolf of Bedburg". Confessed under torture to murdering and cannibalizing 14 children, including his son, and two pregnant women. Broken at the wheel, beheaded and burned
> 
> Called Axlar-Björn ("Shoulder-Bear"). Farmer that robbed and killed people who traversed his land. Beheaded
> 
> "The Demon Tailor". Lured children into his Parisian shop where he tortured and raped them before cutting their throats; he then butchered the bodies, cooked and ate their flesh. Barrels full of bleached bones were found in his cellar. All court documents were deliberately destroyed after his execution, causing his name to be forgotten. Claimed to have a sexual obsession with blood, having orgasms at the sight and smell of it. His victims were extremely mutilated

 

 

 

                                           Chapter Two

 

 

 

 

Jinki pulls out a box of cigarettes, he gives me one and puts one in his mouth and lights them. Another plane passes, lights flashing, I lay back, the loud engines roar. I reach my hand out, looking up at it, the illusion of my hand holding it reminds me of being young. I inhale the smoke and rest my hand on my chest. Getting fresh air is important in a place like this. The rotting smell and humid air is bad for the head. A mind needs clean air and sunlight every fucking once in awhile. Whether it’d be day or night.

“Jinki.” I blink repeatedly and turn my head to the side, he eye’s me “what”

“How was your day?” He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders “just the same as always.” I smile and roll over to cuddle into his naked chest. He’s raised me, from a twelve to now.

I inhale the smoke between my chapped lips looking up at the sky, my mind runs off to when I was nine. Jinki had held me in his arms after I took a good betting by dad. He was on a rampage, paranoid as hell, My lips had cuts and bled out and my ribs felt like they broke. I was crying and praying, the one thing I can’t brake away from.  
Jinki laid me down on the dirty bed, down in the basement. He took off my clothes to wrap my wounds, and wiped my blood away with a rag. Jinki sat with me and prayed, then laid down with me, holding me close to his warm body. I was small and weak, mad and tired and wanted to be saved from what I was and lived by.

  
Jinki reaches over my head to have a drag, then his arm moves back to my shoulders too hold me tightly. We watch the sky turn dark and the lights of Hong Kong beginning to glow around us.

Not a star can be seen, but smoggy dark clouds.

“Hey kiddo, wanna hang out with jongie and me. . . He’s got a few blunts for you. He misses you.” I bite my lip, sitting up with him. I don’t like to get attached to people and one being Jonghyun, but tonight I wanna do something reckless.

“Yeah”

He grins and helps me up “come on then.” We grab are glasses and rush down the dark stairways, running to are room.

 

“What are we doing tonight?” I ask and toss the cup in the little sink that’s soon to work once Jinki finishes it; I rush to the bedroom to change into light blue cut up jeans and a thin white shirt. Jinki puts his clothes on and I pull my long black hair up and put it into a ponytail my bangs thickly cupping my face. fastly I put on a long earring set and a black stud at the tip of my right ear.

“I need to grab some stuff for jonghyun on are way. We’re gonna be helping him cook, then meet Choi and get paid, then we party.”

I pull on my shoes and smile as he grins; we leave the room and rush down the stairs to the dark ally down below. Stopping at a tiny shop, I wonder around, petting one of the seven cats the store owner has taken up. I look around for some snacks for the three of us, even though I know jonghyun is banked well, living in the richer side here because he deals. Electric straight to his room, and clean running water even mail. Jinki gets what they need and I put a few chip bags and a six pack of beer down on the counter.

“Can I get three packs of marlboro reds, shorts?” My brother asks as he pulls money out of his back pocket.

I smile at the owner, chan pak, Jinki hands over the money , I pull off a plastic bag and put my chips in it and grab my beer. Jinki helps the man put his stuff into two bags. He grabs them and we wave goodbye stopping outside so Jinki can open two packs of cigarettes tossing the plastic on the ground. He packs it against the wall and opens his and hands me my pack. I put the beer into my other hand and grab it pulling one out and lighting it, Jinki watching me shakes his head smiling.

“What.”

I mumble past the death stick in my mouth, putting my pack and lighter into my back pocket as we start walking. I smile at the children running around, and watch men doing their work, the shops on the one side light up the way. The buzzing sound of people working and talking filling up the dense air. I look over at my brother, inhaling the smoke.

“Where’re we going after your guys sell this shit.” I exhale while talking.

He shrugs

“maybe out, out. Like a club or something.” he smiles at me, and I grin back.

We leave lung Chun’s back road and to jongie’s opium den we go.   
An opium den is a place where opium - drugs, is sold and smoked; especially one that has facilities where people using the drug can stay while under its influence. Jonghyun always has people in his den. But when he cooks coke and other things and such, he only let’s my brother in to help, and me.

  
“Hey Man!” Jinki calls out as we walk to the back of the room and find jonghyun with Choi, ah the one I met on the stairway, I’ve seen him many times, but today is the closest I’m ever going to be.   
Choi grins eyes on me, making Jinki look over; I shrug off his what the fuck face and walk to the table to put the bag and beer on the table. Sighing I take my last drag and put out my cigarette.

Jonghyun follows behind and gives me a bear hug.

“I haven’t seen you in some time, where’ve you been, avoiding me!” Another lie to put in the books, we just saw each other a day ago, in the red light district, he caught me stripping. He pulls back and I chuckle.

“Of course not!” we both smirk

“He’s been keeping out of trouble by dancing,” Jinki pipes in, I widen my eyes at Jonghyun, he nods and winks, looking over at my brother unloading bags with Choi. I spouse he’s understands that I don’t want him to know the dirty secret.

“Dancing, really. .” Jonghyun half smirks at me, helping me unload the bags I put down. Then walking off and coming back to me with a zip lock bag, six blunts rolled and ready for me this week. Jinki normally brings them to me. But I’m here so I’ll take them. For a moment we don’t break eye contact, just smiling at each other. That night coming back to mind, I was half naked, and didn’t notice him until the end of the show, the red lit room blurring him out when he handed over three hundred to me.

I nod looking away and at the bag of blunts.

“Yeah, I suck. . . Thank you.” I grab the bag and pull one out now.

I fumble for my lighter and Jonghyun pulls his out of his shirt pocket. I hand him the weed filled cigar and let him light it for me, watching him blow an ‘O’ and smirking at me. I smirk back, he was the one smoking then, I take the mary jane, inhaling slowly so I don’t choke and cough like a crazy man.

“I bet you don’t” Jonghyun’s hyper crack head attitude is one of the many reasons I like coming with my brother.

“Yeah. . ” I pass the blunt to him and he takes a hit and passes it back.

“Anyway can I get some ice” I ask, pulling off a warm can of beer from the plastic it’s on. Jonghyun hands me the blunt back as he walks away to the run down kitchen, the low hum of the radio plays through the room. I’ve been here when it’s open to the people that come to get high. Jonghyun puts this black light on and has crazy songs playing while tons of pillows cover the dirty ground and men and woman lay to their sides, so they can smoke from the long pipe.

-6-

 

 

 

I smoke and look over at my brother and the gang ruler; I offer a hit walking to them with the blunt in between my pointer finger and thumb. Before I pass it to Choi I take another drag and hand it over, he inhales deeply and passes it to my brother. I’m still holding the warm beer when Jonghyun comes and stands next to us, handing me a glass with ice in it.

“Here you go.” He smiles and I pop the beer can open before grabbing the glass. Jinki hit’s the blunt and passes it to jonghyun, he hits it and hands it over to me, from me I pass it to my brother and it goes around until we smoke it to the bitter end. And in the end, we light another.

“Hey, show me some of those moves baby.” Jonghyun asks, I pour another can of beer into my ice. Jonghyun had put the six pack in the fridge. I peek over at my brother and the gang member, then the drug dealer. Jinki gives me a shrug and goes back to boiling water with Choi. Choi looks over as the music from the radio starts to play louder, I sigh and pour my drink, chugging it down walking over to jonghyun.  
Hitting on the second, half smoked, blunt and put it out, I’ll save the rest for later.

“What type of music are you into?” I shrug “whatever plays.” Jonghyun bites his lip, looking through the radio channels.   
“Okay then . . . What type of genre ” I push his hand away and look for myself. I’ve listened to some of the songs. But one I like more then the others is what I pick. I can’t speak very good English but reggae is one of my favorites, but I know the beat. I leave it on and start to sway my head, then raise my arms and my hips go side to side, the beat matching up with the movement, I pop my hip and keep moving to the beat. I make eye contact with my brother’s best friend, thinking back to the dark room, naked and moving for men throwing money out.  
When the song ends, the three claps take me out of my trance. Jonghyun wraps his arm around my neck.

“your good kid” Jinki chuckles I smirk and peek at Choi, who’s grinning.

“have you ever been to the red light district.” he asks “you can start in a group; you can make good money doing something like that.” Jinki frowns “no” I’d rather beat your ass and make your daddy watch. But I need to be a good boy, huh Jinki, staying hidden.

“nah man he needs to just work” Jonghyun says and leads me over to the burner. He knows some of the reckless things I’ve done, but nothing big until that night. He just has high hopes for me, because he had a dream of singing, but gave it up for drugs and easy money. Living in a place like this when he knows he would’ve been bigger then life.

I feel bad at times, because I think badly about him. He could have been something, make something of himself in this world. But he didn’t and I’ll never know why he said no. Maybe it’s because what happened to his sister. I’d understand if that’s why, waiting to hopefully meet the man who killed her.

We all hang around as the cocaine cooks. Jonghyun explains that you can make it fast; it’s just not as strong. Choi makes a joke about the women that he’s pimpin; I had to turn away as to not show my like in the female sex. The way they just give away their body for drugs, Jinki laughs and I hold back. The human mind pisses me off, how I can be such a hypocrite at times and do the things theses girls do, that I hate that they do. I’m just the worst thing born.

It’s funny, I think off walking to Jonghyun’s Kitchen, just a fridge and sink with cabinets to the side, and his oven and stove is across the room on the other side, a high table next to it so they can make the drugs next to the stove.

I walk over to Jonghyun in the kitchen. As he unloads a cabinet full of hard liquor, I tap his shoulder, and he stops, smiling down at me.

“What’s up?” I put a finger to my mouth, to shush him. He grins and I whisper back.

“Do you have anything that calms the nerves? Like that shit you gave me when I had a major break down.” I grin at him as he reaches in his pocket, showing me the pill.

“Let’s put it in your shot now.” He grabs a shot glass and fills it, then looks at me before dropping it. We watch it dissolve and he hands it over, with a grin I take the shot. And handle the bitter taste. Shaking my head and smacking my mouth. He chuckles and pats my back.

“You’ll feel it in a minute.” I nod “hey, can you not tell Jinki about. . .you know” He chuckles “I won’t. . .but I must say.” He grabs a few bottles “you were really good.” grinning we both grab what we can and carry them all to the table and go back with him to grab the shot glasses and the rest of the liquor. I sit down a watch him raise the bottle of drunken madness, while in the background ‘sugar, sugar’ plays on the radio.

“We’re gonna start are night now kiddies.” He says grinning, pouring whisky into glasses.

Choi and my brother gather around the square table in the middle of the room, Choi across from me, Jinki across from Jonghyun. Once the glasses are half full we grab one, all grinning like fools holding the glass close to are mouths, are heads go back and the liqueur goes down, warmth settling in the stomach . I grin and sway to the background music, placing my glass down for more.

Jonghyun’s crinkle eye smile is the best and makes me warm inside, he’s a big comfort to me. With ease he pours another round. I eye Choi, and swallow holding myself straight and tall, a smirk playing at my lips. I down my glass, and peek over at my brother. He smiles at me; I smile back and nudge his arm. . . . I love that shit jongie gives me.

  
-7-

 

 

I need more to handle my anger, keep me calm like this all the time. So spaced out and happy, a few months ago I had joined my brother with jonghyun, I had no clue who we were hanging out with, but they brought this drug called LSD.   
They said that it was the best drug out there, I took it. It was the best time I’ve ever had, dancing felt like you were out of your body, looking at colors everywhere, nothing you‘d ever see but one way, dancing with the devil hoping he won’t take you away.  
My pupils were huge, eyes glossy. Jonghyun took a few photos with me and my brother, Jinki got one of us together. Jonghyun keeps them hung on his wall in his place. He’s had so many parties. He carry’s around this polaroid camera at all times so he can remember what happened.

He tends to black out and when he was way younger he thought of the camera idea to document his high. I guess he had a lot of moments were he’d get into fights. I think he killed a guy or two, but that was when he was experimenting with new drugs and it didn’t mix well with some of his daily narcotics. It sparks a bad nerve and the guy that gave him the new shit was killed.

Over the night I get more acquaint with the gang member himself. Aimlessly ending up next to him, arms close to touching. We stand off to the side of the other two finishing off the cooking.   
He looks down at me and I grin, let’s not act like I don’t know how to kill a man.

“How’d the guy go?” I ask with a sugar sweet voice, a real want to know how it went down, or what the guy did, and if he was paid back for it. He chuckles and shakes his head

“You don’t want to know kid” I frown and raise a brow. I bet I know more then you do about blood and killing. Oh I wish I could just fucking let this act go, and truly be me.

“My names taemin and by any means, I’m not no fucking kid.” he rubs his lips, a grin about his face. I bite my lip and lick my dry mouth. I need more alcohol. Without saying a thing I walk off to the table. Jonghyun watches my brother making sure he does all the steps right, weighing out and bagging is next, that’s about the only thing I do.

“Hey Jongie, can I get some more ice,” I ask walking to the kitchen, he nods from afar. Before I get the ice I go to the table to see what all hard liquors are out. I spy vodka, I wonder if he has orange juice? I look in the fridge and find it in the back, with a grin I shake the juice and use my cup from my beer. I infuse the three things together and stir it with my finger. Licking the juice off, I wipe my hand on my shirt and grab my drink. I need to get the scale. Jonghyun keeps that in the bedroom.

I go to the room, at the door is coffee table with a lamp, I lean over and turn it on. As I walk I sip on my mix, walking to the bathroom I flick the switch up and the dim yellow light flickers on.   
The bathroom doesn’t have any running water and the bathtub is filthy the sink too, but at least the toilet works, which in this case is the traditional floor toilet, where you need to squat to shit and if you’re a chick you better be good at squatting and pissing. Behind the sink mirror has the cabinet thing,   
Jinki had modified it for Jonghyun and broke down the wall and unused pipes to make it go deeper back so a safety deposit box could fit in it.

I don’t know why it’s in the bathroom, but that’s just that. I smile as I dial the code and pull open the door. He has pills, weed blocks, bags and bags of different kinds of colored pills, meth. At the front though is black tar, or in better words, pure heroin. The one thing I know to stay away from, and the one thing Jonghyun and my brother have stayed away from to. Jonghyun sells it, and I’m glad that I know he’ll never use it either. I get back to what I came here for, and grab the digital scale pad. The guy is rich, and can afford to buy all the new stuff, from every electronic and movies down to drugs and the things to smoke it with.

I close the door and turn the dial, then shut the mirror door and walk out back to the kitchen, I need plastic wrap. I put the tube under my armpit and walk to the table. I put my drink down and grab the wrap and put it down and place the pad down gently. Nervousness setting in as a gang member watches my every move. I pull my cigarettes out of my back pocket and light one up. He drags his chair over to me, making me look up at him because of the loud sound of the metal against the cement.

“Couldn’t pick it up?” it slipped out of my slick mouth with a cocky tone.

He scuffs and raises a brow flipping the chair around, I smirk at him. He sits down and leans his arms on the back of the chair and crookedly smirks back.

“Taemin.” He says it like he’s testing me.

“Choi.” I make a face and slur my speech taking another drag. He’s such a cocky mother fucker I blow smoke out.

“You’re a pistol aren’t you?” I cock a brow and lean my arms on the table, holding my glass with both hands.

“I’m a cold blooded son of a bitch, and you wouldn’t want to test your boundaries, Choi.” He raises his hands up in defense.

“Hey now, don’t get all pissy” I’m getting mad and I don’t want to be, because of him, out of all the fucking people, not fucking him. I shrug and drink more, looking over at my brother and Jonghyun.

“you like dick, don’t you. . . I know I’ve seen you somewhere, and I know you know too.” he smirks at me,

“the type that’d suck dick any chance you get, so much your name gets known for that one reason.” I grind my teeth and bite my tongue. Trying to hold myself back as long as I can, putting my glass down to take another drag.

“I’ll pay you to suck me off right now, right here”

He grabs my arm and pulls me off my chair to my knees.

“ With that long hair and cute little body.” He plays with my hair “You can’t scare me away.”

I grin my teeth and put out the cigarette out on his arm, he pulls it back flinching I stand up grabbing my glass and chucking it at him. He doges it and it breaks against the ground. Oh god how much I want to kill this mother fucker. I glair at him baring my teeth and my hands in fists, he jumps up and pushes me back against the table, hands making there way to my neck. I kick him and get close to kneeing his dick Jonghyun comes in from behind and grabs Minho’s shoulder turning him around, his fist impacting into Choi’s face the second he turns around.   
  
I move away from the table and stand back watching Jonghyun throwing a left punch; Minho blocks it and raises his right fist the impact to Jonghyun’s nose throws him back, you could hear the crack. I wince and look over at Jinki who’s eye’s are on the fight, he tends to keep a balance. Not jumping into fights keeping peace breaking things up, or a really mad Jinki you get a pissed off man with twenty pounds of muscle and a good fight. But he knows if Jonghyun’s on this then there’s no need to jump in. I look back over at the two, it flashes by so fast the punch too Jonghyun’s right eye. The impact so hard he stubbles back again.

 


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy loves

 

                                                               

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

“I’ll kill this mother fucker so help me.” Jonghyun points at the gang member spiting out blood and saliva wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he looks over at my brother, meaning in every word.

“come and get me little fuck, try and see what you can get away with, before I kill your ass.” I frown and grind my teeth. This guy will be dead soon if he keeps up this bullshit game he’s playing.

“You fucking insignificant prick!” I walk to the kitchen opening cabinets and drawers trying to find a knife. I can’t find one, I push things around looking under papers nothing. I look over my shoulder Jinki trying to pull Jonghyun away and yelling at Minho to back off my eyes go wide Minho punches him on the mouth and Jonghyun tumbles Minho to the ground. I run over to my brother and grab his chin looking over his mouth no teeth busted just a cut on his top and bottom lip. He grins and shrugs looking back at the two yelling.

“fuck off and leave!” Jonghyun points to the door breathing looks heavy and his body twitches with anger.

My fingers twitch in the palm of my hand; I don’t have the efficiency to do anything without a knife.  
I can’t fight because muscle works over moves without one or the other I can’t do anything. I have to rely on him, and my older brother. I hate that, I want to fuck someone up like Jonghyun.

I zone out but the sound of skin punching against skin echoes through my head and I get it back together. Watching them move about the room chairs all knocked over table moved from where is was, they beat on each other. Grunting pushing and shoving, then the sound of knuckles punching meat. I bite on my lower lip watching back and forth.

Jinki try’s to pull them apart again but they both push him back, Jinki puts his hands up in defeat frowning walking over to me.

“We’re all buzzed and now a fight, if we lived in a normal housing area we’d all be sent to jail or prison.”

Jinki states next to me, I nod to his words, he’s right cops would be here all the time and not a single person here would have to worry about the crime we make and live with.

“I’ll rape and kill that gay little prick make you watch then fucking kill your ass mother fucker” Minho threatens Jonghyun I hear Jinki yelling for me to move as they pushed and shoved into me. I throw a punch at Minho and he glairs at me pushing Jonghyun off to come after me.  
Jinki yells in the back of my head, telling me not get involved. But I do, watching the two fist fight, throwing each other to the ground. I’d love to kill this asshole myself but that will just cause hell on us. I try to separate them but get pushed back my mind and heart race this can’t happen. Jonghyun gets an advantage and throws Choi to the ground, I don’t fight I kill and I know the motives of a intoxicated mind the thought the want to go all the way or nothing at all.

“Jonghyun stop!” I scream out as he takes Minho down from behind and throws him to the ground.

Jonghyun gets himself on top of Minho punching left and right His face tense eye’s seething teeth bared and showing. My heart is racing I run behind and grab Jonghyun’s shoulders and pull him back, he pushes forward and stops punching. I know his hands motives; his neck I fall to the ground and crawl to him and wrap my arms around Jonghyun from behind trying to pull him back.  
Minho’s hands are holding onto Jonghyun’s that are wrapped tight around his neck. They pulse and veins begin to show.

“Please stop Jonghyun, please calm down ” he attempts to push me off him with his elbow, I won’t let him this time. I wrap both hands around Jonghyun’s left arm and try to pull him off the guys neck and he lets go to get my hands off him. He pushes me back with one arm and I fall on my ass.

With my failed attempt I crawl back and lean into his ear a hand on the other side of his head.

“Please, Please stop.”

His hand wraps back around Minho’s neck thumb pressing tight against his adams apple, I’m worried He’ll kill him. Minho is a member of the 14k and I can’t let Jonghyun get killed by them for something so dumb like this. Minho’s face is turning blue.

“Clam down Jonghyun”

I try to stay calm holding him against me. His heavy breathing slows down he try’s to push me away with his shoulder and elbow gently. With both hands on the sides of his face I make him look at me. Minho chokes and gasps for air.

“his face is turning purple!” I look over at my brother and back at Jonghyun’s face and turn his head to me. He clenches his jaw and frowns his brows, He glairs at me and bares his teeth.

“So you’re okay with what he said.” his hands loosen for a few seconds, and Minho’s face lightens, so I take it as I got this under control. I pled with my eyes and use my softest voice.

“Jonghyun, it’s alright” His breathing slows down and he looks at me before he nods and lets Minho remove himself from underneath him. He crawls on his knees and forearms coughing and spiting out blood.

Me and jonghyun stay in the same place my hands still on the sides of his tense face. We keep eye contact, racing hearts slowing down, the energy and adrenalin slowing down .  
Jonghyun sighs and puts his hands over mine and closes his eye’s leaning his forehead on mine.

“Thank you.” He whispers low enough that, Jinki who’s on the ground helping Choi, doesn’t hear. I look back at Jonghyun his eyes still shut. I take the moment to kiss the top of his head and remove my hands from his, to pat his thigh and help him up. I look over at my brother, He’s frowning watching us.  
I understand, I shouldn’t get involved like this, he thinks I’ve stopped my reckless ways, but I really haven’t. To be honest I’m getting worse as the days go by.

“Look Jonghyun I’m sorry” Minho’s voice sounds raspy and worn and I’m sure in need of his fix. He stands with pride and limps over to me and Jonghyun hand out. Jonghyun grins and leans over and slaps hands with his and shakes on it.

“No one from my gang will know what happened, this is strictly between the four of us.” He states looking around at all of us.

“and I am sorry for what happen tonight.”

“And. . .Taemin.” I give him a reinsuring smile and let Jonghyun do the talking.

“do worry man I like to fight.” Jonghyun says grinning like fool He looks at me and shrugs looking back at Choi.

“It makes a better bond, right Choi.” Jonghyun chuckles and pats the gang members back.

“not a word will be spoken about tonight trust me.” Jonghyun puts out there.

They act as if they’re not beaten and bused, cut up and bleeding, both have black eye’s forming. Or the finger marks around Minho’s neck bound to be seen by the members of his gang. I frown and leave the room. Walking down the long dark hallway to a butcher shop around the corner.

  
-9-

 

 

“Can I get a slab of meat?” The butcher grins at me, I know men are bad, all men are bad, even me. But I do get in this situation a lot; I grin back and pull money out of my pocket.

“Sorry man, I’m paying by money today.” He chuckles and gets what I need, wrapping it in brown paper and tying it with string. I pay and grab the meat; waving good bye and rushing back to the room.

I stop outside the door, listening in to my brother.

“Please, don’t fuck around with him.” He must be talking to Minho.

“And whys that.”

“He’s more then you think, he won’t hastate to kill you, you’re just lucky that you’re a gang member and he didn’t have a knife around him . . . Just don’t add to my problems and keep your hands off him and don’t test him.”

“We’re sorry man, he’s just a ticking time bomb.” That’s Jonghyun

“okay” He hesitates to answer back,

“but do you mind me asking why?”

“he’s come from. . .are father is a bad man, killing people they’d torture”

I don’t want him to hear anymore, it’s not like Jinki was there long enough to really get the whole Lee family experience. I stare daggers at my brother, he grinds his teeth but nods, getting my message. I walk straight to Jonghyun unwrapping the meat from the paper.  
Jonghyun stands next to his little table weighing meth on a scale. I tap his shoulder and he turns around smiling.

“hold on.”

I nod waiting and watching him wrap the crystals and handing it over to Minho. It’s to humid down here, no windows just heat and dripping water. Jonghyun curls his finger to follow him to the room while he puts the supply back in the safe.

Jonghyun frowns his brow shutting the mirror rubbing his forehead.

“head hurt?” I ask leaning against the doorsill as he pulls his shirt off, red patches cover his torso and sweat, his blond hair drenched with wetness. He grins biting his bottom lip I inhale walking to him, light with my hands. I move his hand from his swollen eye, grab the meat off the counter and smile at him before placing it over his eye.

“Thank you” His voice is raspy, but happy. He needs to get high. . .He opens his eye I can’t explain the feeling when are eyes meet but I had to break it. Looking off to the side, he holds the meat and I move my hand away. Frowning I grab the paper and turn my back away from him. Tossing the paper in the tub I walk out of the room to get whisky. Minho left the room, I assume to get high away from us.

Me and Jinki move the liquor to the counter, then I grab the whiskey and walk back into the room. Jonghyun lays back on the dirty mattress without sheets. I lean against the doorway and cross my arms over my chest bottle of whiskey in hand. His arms spread out legs relaxed and wide open. He turns his head and grins at me I look back at my brother he pays no attention to me so I walk into the room and shut the door.

“can I do something?” I ask walking to him. Standing in front of him. . . in between his legs.

“what ever you want.” the deep tone of his voice sends shivers down my legs. I grin placing the bottle in between his legs leaning against his junk, He smirks I put my knee there to keep it in place. And I lean over him hands at he sides of his head. I grin that black eye I lean down and lightly kiss his eye then his lips and pull back to see his face.

He grins and I grin back chuckling again I sit up and pull my hair back and behind my ear. Opening the bottle I pour the liquor into my mouth and lean back down to his lips, he opens his mouth wide and I let the bitter liquor pour out. He swallows and smirks. I lean back down to kiss those lips that move together sweetly against mine. I dart my tongue out to taste the whiskey on his tongue and the corners of his mouth. And just like that I go from leaning over him to laying on his chest as he holds my face.

The smack from wet lips, the feeling in my stomach I’ve never felt before. I keep the bottle in my hand upright as best as I can, spilling when I go in for a better angle. It’s like I can’t handle him going in for more or I’ll throw up, I pull back an look at him.  
I swallow shuddering as his warm lips suckle at my neck. But before I could have a taste of his skin my brother walks in.

“Oh god Taemin.” He frowns looking down at the ground covering his eyes with one hand.

“can’t you keep your dick put up for a minute.” I grin and kiss Jonghyun’s lips before crawling off him.

“sorry. But I can’t do that.” I grin at my brothers uptight face. Always so aggravated with me and who I am, what I do. He’ll never fucking get it. I offer Jonghyun a hand up and he takes it, my brother sighs and walks back out to the room. I look back at jonghyun helping him up off the bed, he stands and we head to the bathroom.

  
“Man I’m fucking hurting.” Jonghyun states while rubbing his eye. I frown watching him limp to the bathroom, must have sprained his ankle. I smirk, I may not be able to keep my dick put up, but at last I use it.

“I have a pain reliever if you want.” He chuckles and looks back at me, flipping the light on.

“yeah”

“. . . .yeah” I bite my lip watching him inter the bathroom leaning against the counter . His slim body hidden by muscles, his muscles hidden by his cut up shirt again. He points at the door rubbing his lip.

“shut the door.”

I grin and turn around to shut it, standing waiting for him to turn back around after getting his personal coke out of the safe.

He puts a baggy into his pocket then closing the safe up again; he turns around with a smile and I lick my lips.

“ready for that pain reliever?” He scrunches his eye’s at me in that hot son of a bitch kind of way, the kind of way that makes me happy to get onto my knees and unzip his jeans. Looking up at him I grab his pants on both sides and pull them down. He’s somewhat hard, I’ll change that, his jeans drop and down his boxers go.

“fuck kid.” I chuckle and grab his cock, leaning in to lick up his shaft and his tip. I blow on his tip then lean back down to suck, swirling my tongue around and over his slit, I swallow and keep sucking. I inch my way down and take his dick fully his head hitting the back of my throat. I’m so use to gag reflex is unheard of to me. I fondle his sack and keep sucking, head bobbing up and down controlled by his hand gripping my hair tightly. I breath through my nose and lightly close my lids, doing the best to keep sucking and playing around with my tongue. Spit running from the corners of my mouth, I wipe my chin with the back of my hand and go back to holding his hip.

“shit babe” He bites his lips and leans his head back, then back down to watch me finish him off, he pulls my head back and grabs his dick. I open my mouth hands resting on my lap I watch him pump his dick, his tip lightly against my bottom lip and tongue , I lick his tip a few times before he comes into my mouth, I wrap my mouth around his head and swallow down the salty seed.

I grin and wipe the corners of my mouth and lick my fingers.

Without talking I get up and we walk out to the table.

Rule one, you’ve got to have fun, but when you’re done, you’ve got to be the first one to run. Jinki sits at the table head in his hands, elbows against the table. Me and Jonghyun sit down at the table, Jinki has everything we need to start laying out and about on the small table. But before we start that Jonghyun pulls out his eight ball and breaks it open, lining up two white lines with a razor. He pulls out a hundred dollar bill and rolls it up to make a straw. He offers me a line I shake my head he looks over at Jinki and he nods. Jonghyun gives him the bag of powder and the razor.

  
-9-

 

  
Jonghyun holds his nose as he sniffs the three lines fastly and tosses his head back. He shakes his head pinching his nostrils and sniffing furiously then licking his finger picking up the leftover coke. He gives me that damn side smile and rubs the powder into his gums. Looking at me from the corner of his eyes, he leans forward and grabs the meat and puts it back on his eye handing Jinki the hundred dollar bill.

“I wanna get wasted tonight.” I put out there , rolling the plastic wrap. An eight ball weighed, I put it off to the side and read the paper next to the scale. With a sigh my finger stays under the name of whose next, and next to his name in Jonghyun’s sloppy handwriting is the money paid for the amount they paid for.

“Taemin.” I look over at my brother frowning, I hum a what.

“Why can’t I ever tell anyone to stay back, it’s like you want them to fuck with you.”

“I know how to handle myself. I’m not some animal that needs tamed Jinki.” I look over at my brother, he shrugs and I look back down. Minho’s been gone for some time now . . . I wonder if he’s gone for the rest of the night.

“Are we still going out?” I ask looking over at jonghyun, he’s the one with a swollen eye. And sniffing nose, rubbing it and sniffing again.

“Nose bugging you.” I whisper close grinning a cocky grin at him, and he returns one to me.

“What do you think Jinki, should we go out.” He shrugs what a bum mood.

“You can bring that cute friend of yours.”

Jonghyun grins at Jinki’s growing cheerful smile and nod .

“yeah” He thinks about it for some time, and nods his head.

“I’m gonna go get her.” I look up at him and shrug “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head “I know Tae.”

I just feel guilty now but I throw it to the side and think about something else to get my mind off my brother’s hurt. Watching his back as he leaves out into the dark hall.

“Hey jongie.” I wrap another ball and stop. Looking over at him, he ‘hums’ and looks over at me a dorky high smirk on his face. To be honest, I just want to fuck with him, and see where it goes.

“What is it kid.” so blunt his voice is, eyes on me. I sigh and look over at him licking my dry lips.

“did you like my blowjob”

  
He grins “the best pain reliever I’ve had in some time. ” he grabs the vodka bottle he brought to the table. He downs some offering me the bottle

“you said you wanted to get wasted, drink babe.” I grab the bottle and down some myself wiping my mouth.

“Do you get jealous when people flirt with me?” I ask.

“no.” again that blunt voice, acting like what I’m saying means nothing. I frown

“You don’t think I’m cute?” I say with a pout, playing around with him.

“I do.” he grins at me chuckling.

“I’m a free teen, here for the taking.” I raise my arms out, welcoming him.

He chuckles and I grab the vodka roughly, placing it on my lips chugging down as much as I can take

“Yes you are. . .” this time his voice is hinting to it, he peeks at me from the corner of his eye, I grin.

“What about being turned on by a guy?” I lick and bite on my bottom lip. I have no idea what I’m doing, or what I‘m getting at, but I‘m high and buzzed like a mouth fucker.

“What are you trying to do with that mouth of yours?”

“Maybe I’m testing my boundaries.” I smirk and get back to doing my job. He taps my shoulder with the bottle offering it to me; I take it and swig more of the bitter liquor.

“You can turn a guy on taemin.” I chuckle  
  
“That’s what I was aiming for.”

I tilt my head “you did a good job, fighting I mean” he shakes his head grinning.

“yeah.” I put my hand on his thigh and rub down to his knee and back up. He smirks I just grin and take my hand away getting back to weighing and bagging.

“Can I ask you somethin tae?”

“Yeah.” I stop and look over at him again, worry in his uncovered eye freaks me out, how was it we were just fucking around and now he looks all fucking serious

“Do you really like me?” I keep a frown and shrug “Yeah I do, why?”

He sits up and leans on his lap while talking, “because I don’t want you to get pulled into a bad life choice, for one this.” He points at the coke and looks back at me “I’d hate to see you addicted to anything.”

“You give me half the stuff I’ve taken.” I grin shrugging “and it’s not like you should worry when we live in a city like this.” I frown at him and get up. Getting the orange juice from the fridge and walking back to make myself another drink.

“I have a lot of. . . How should I put it?” I scuff “. . . dark pasts and lets just say.” I darkly look at him

“I know Rape. . . Drugs . . . Satanic people . . . I’ve been through a lot of shit. And I’ve done a lot shit.” I finally look over at him. He nods, my brother hasn’t told him much about my personal life.

“I had my first line with my dad.”

“your dad, you’re fucking with me?”

“no”

“how old are you sixteen right?”

“yeah.”

“how old where you then?”

I Shake my head.

“I was apart of a crazy family, I was nine, with my dad and uncle in the drug room. He had me on his lap and pushed my head down telling me I’ll feel real good.” I bite my lip and look at him.

Smirking I chuckle “I blacked out and my dad took over my body.”

“that’s not all that funny kid.”

“it is, I’m sure you’ve been around a drugged up ‘kid’ and took over their body, or at least seen it.”

Jonghyun bites his lip and looks away from me. I’m right he has, it’s written on his face.

“My dad made me bed other men, It became such a second nature that I did it all the time, passing a room my mom’s in reading, and I’m walking to my bed with an old man holding my hand.”

“she never did anything for me, all she did try to do was shit, just read the bible, always telling me to read it. Nothing more, I wasn’t worthy ‘your father’s disgusting sticky sex doll’ she told me when she saw me bent over with a grown man’s dick trusting roughly, blood and cum, look” I shake the thought out, it builds up my nerve to dirty my hands again. To smell blood, feel the sticky warmth on my fingertips.

“don’t tell Jinki any of this, he doesn’t even know that. To be honest. I think this place has a darker side of life, just not as tense as I’ve been in.”

“what are you thinking?” I ask Jonghyun.

“about you.” a scuff escapes from the back of my throat.

“why.”

“I have the biggest want to get you, and take you back to a little kid and change it.”

“I’d still probably suck your dick.” I give him a side glace with a smirk.

We both chuckle then I lean face to face, this man doesn’t know me yet, not yet.

“kiss me.” I ask with a soft whisper, he leans into me and we make out little by little it gets more tense and soon I’m on his lap sucking his neck.

My mother worried for me and that only made it worse for herself. Because no matter what, I killed her not my dad. He killed her because of me, blabbing my mouth to my dad about Jinki and you flipped dad. You wanted to punish her god, he was so furious. He tied her up, and cut her up one after another he tortured her, She held up the fight for three days. My father made me stay to help , no matter if she begged him to stop or me, we still kept it going until she finally broke down.

I felt mad, I don’t know why, I wanted him to kill her. She said the name of the school, but dared not to tell whom he was staying with since a child.  
But I just had to then, pull my dad out of the white, the sound of sticky bloody shoes on plastic as I lead the way. I told him that he was with her sister. And he grinned down at me pat my head next to his cock, saying ‘oh my wicked little one’ ‘help me baby boy’ I unzipped his zipper and poked my little finger into his jeans rubbed the flesh pulled it out while he thought off eye’s closed as I sucked. When I felt his shaft pulsing he pondered a moment before grinning. ‘I think I owe them a visit’ my mouth open and covered. I licked and smacked my lips, he tossed me his shirt ‘clean up baby’. I walked out in just my daddy’s shirt to my uncle for some fun.  
Frowning I shake my head; what I did. Jinki will never know of. And it eats at my stomach, how could I do shit like that. And now I care about him, when I’ve never had that for anyone, not even myself.

“I like that I can’t be myself here.” I add, he grins and inhales his cigarette with one hand and the other holding the meat to his eye.

“so do I.”

-11-


	5. chapter four

                                                           

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4

My brother walks in with some boy at his side, his eye’s flicker back and forth on me to Jonghyun, worry on his face.  
At that moment a young boy comes running in, a messenger. He stops at the edge of the table back straight and hands behind his back. Cute kid, blue eye’s, you don’t see that much his brown hair is long but choppy in dirty tangled strands sticking out. His whole body it’s self is a dirty mess, he needs a bath.

The kid bows to Jonghyun and he curls his finger to him. He walks around to Jonghyun’s left side and talks into his ear.  
Jonghyun stares down at the table, fist clenched on his lap. His chair falls back from his fast movement standing up.

“Really!” Jonghyun pushes the kid back.

“Well, you fucking tell him meet me tomorrow to settle this!” The kids bows and runs fastly out of the room.

“Stop jonghyun. Sit down.” He looks down and pushes the scale harshly to the floor, swiping his hand so what I’ve bagged and the paper fly’s off to the ground. Everything but the cup holding the powder and chunks of crack. I hold my hands up and push my chair back.

“That fucking Jack Ass I’ll kill that fucker tomorrow.” he flicks a mach and lights a cigarette,

I roll my eyes and stand going over to the fridge for a beer.

Jonghyun takes Jinki into the only room to talk ‘business’ over. I laugh darkly and walk over to the mess jongie made. Looking over at the boy, his face looks like a doll. No emotion, straight and no mind to what he’s seeing, very beautiful though, he watches me pick up. I place all the stuff on the table, and outstretch my hand walking to him, A warm smile on my face.

“Hi, I’m sorry that’s how we had to met, but I’d like to do this properly.” I know him already, but I don’t think he remembers me.

“I’m Lee Taemin.” a small grin spreads across his face. And he takes my hand in his.

“I’m Kibum, you can call me key though.” we shake hands and I lead him over to the small table.

We sit and he awkwardly places his hands on his lap, I give him a soft smile when he catches my staring. I look over at jonghyun and my brother, talking in the bedroom next to us then to the door were Minho walks in. His eyes are red glassy and open, marks scuff up his body, and I try to not mind the blood on his white shirt.

“What happened to you?” I ask when his searching eye’s look around the room landing on me.

He smiles and comes over to sit down on the chair beside me.

“A little fight broke out with my guys. . . I had to stop it but one threw a punch at me and I got pissed off. Had to teach him a lesson.” I chuckle, yeah right. I look over at Kibum, who stares down at the table; eye’s not wanting to come in contact with someone like Mr. Choi. I smile though and decide to introduce them.

“Minho this is Kibum, my brother’s boyfriend.” His eyes get big and he shakes his head franticly with a nervous smile.

“No, no, no it’s not like that at all, he’s dating my sister.”

“Oh” I grin at him.

“now is he, Jinki hasn’t told me about her yet. I’m not stupid watching him act all in love.”

He awkwardly smiles at me; I smile back and look at the man next to me. He smiles at the kid

“Nice to meet you Kibum.” he nods looking back at me, a grin spreading across his face.

It’s not real. I know what this kid has seen I know what’s in his mind. Fuck,

“Man I just want finish this so we can get out of here.” I get back into my flow and start weighing the last of the shit. Minho helps and I hand it to Kibum to put it in this little box. By the time we finish Jonghyun and my brother walk out. They look flustered and Jonghyun in want of information.

I don’t know if Kibum has blocked it from his memories. I frown and look at him, he looks like he’s getting it. Eye’s wondering over me, thinking very strongly about something. I smile at him; the scar on his face from that night catches me. His eyes so fearful, jumping up he backs away. Looking at my brother,

“I need to go I. . .I forgot something, I’m sorry.” He bows and leaves, looking back at me before he walks   
out the door.

  
-12-  
I see that Jinki almost reacts to go after him, but he holds still.   
Sighing I swig more of my drink, Minho try’s to grab it again, but I move my hand away fast enough so his grubby hands don’t get it. Grinning at him I finish it off and look at the two sitting down. Eye’s on me, I don’t like being watched like this.

“why did he leave.” my brother asks

“We where living here for a good month. And I was walking in one of the allays wondering around.” I stop doing what I was doing and lean my elbows on the table.

“ I came across a scream, being muffed. I walked by just to see what was happening, listening to the commotion. These men wanted the oldest sibling to hustle. But somehow she got killed by one of them. 

“One man yelled at the others for killing the oldest, she’s all they needed and what a problem that it’s going to cost them. How they’d need to get rid of her body and the best next thing was the other - way younger sister. Key had gotten in the way. . . .I don’t know what happened in actions, but I could hear them, the sound of them beating him, telling him he’ll learn a lesson.” I frown my brows, looking down at the table.

“I had my knife behind my back. And I knew there was more then one, that I couldn’t kill them easily. I had to plan out fastly what I was going to do, so I pulled off a hanging piece of pipe, and the way it broke was sharp enough .”

“I knocked on the door.” I chuckle and drink licking my dry lips.

“I wanted to kill them. . . And I did. . . One man opened the door, I told him I was lost and he leaned over to smile and pat my head, I stabbed him in the gut . . .”

“I knew then that the other man was going to run after me, so I hid off to the side with the bar of piping and stuck him when he came my way . . . Kibum was crying, untying his sister, saying that there’s another . . . I thought he was just in shock. .but there was and he kicked the knife away from where I dropped it.”

“He was chocking me to death out in the ally. . .”

“You know.”

I keep my eyes down, remembering how I got out of such a situation.

“I yelled for the sister to fight, to get up and fight.” I frown “something kicked in her, she pushed key away and ran out the room, grabbed the knife and killed the guy”

“from the back straight to the heart.” I grin, we dragged the guy into the room and burnt them all in the pit.

“I don’t know what happened to the passed sister. Or what happened to them, until today with Kibum. He’s beautiful but so sad. .and you’re dating her, how is she doing. . . I bet she’s beautiful”

My brother leans back in his chair. Frowning. Inside my head I recall all the memory of it. The smell of burning bodies as we sat around, I was in the middle of them, both crying at my sides. I could hold myself together for I didn’t lose the care taker in my life. An older sibling that holds so much life in the palms.   
I wondered how they could take care of themselves, so I talked to the sister. She was fourteen at the time and her brother was nine. I told her my worry and she shook her head. Telling me that she could take care of her brother. I had been in that place so many times after the event. But hadn’t seen them.

“I’m not lying if any of you think I am” Even Mr.Choi stays quiet. Blankly looking at me with frowned brows.

Jinki sighs and leans on the table. I pill my eyes off the table to look Jonghyun in the eye’s, do you get it yet Jonghyun, do you know who I really am.

“Now I get it.” he inhales and leans back.

“Get what?” I ask leaning on the table like him.

“I get that she never talks about her past or why she refuses to not work, and why her brother won’t leave their room. I get what you told me back then.” He smiles “and I’m proud.”

I smirk back forgetting the two people next to us, Minho choughs awkwardly.

“So you killed a man at twelve.”

I sit back and look over at him “more then one or two” Jonghyun burst out laughing pointing at Minho.

“The guy looks so tough, but you’ve killed more them him.” Minho glairs at Jonghyun, whose already black eye is beckoning for a buddy. I grin and place a hand on his knee. Claming him as jonghyun still throws out comments. Begging for a fight, the one thing I don’t like about Jonghyun’s high, is this; the mean side of him. When he pushes off all right minded choices to be a jackass. For an adrenaline rush. Jinki sits his friend back down and gives him the look.

“Are we still going out?” I ask but the thought of key passes through my head. I wonder if he made it back safely.

“Hold on I’ll be back.” I get up and rush out of the room, going the direction I had seen him go. Worry filling me up, making me sick.

“Kibum” I call out, the smell over here is way better then where we live.

“Kibum!” running I look back and forth at the alleyways. I’m close to where it happened, stopping I watch the blonde walking into the room. I approach him slowly; I don’t want to shock him. He leaves the door open, so I let myself in. The creaking of are steps echo through the cold room. I remember how red it looked that night, the fire, and the smell. The cry’s and pain, no one but us three in front of the sister praying for her soul to ascend to heaven in peace.

“I miss her so much.” the crack in his voice hurts my heart, and I hold him falling to are knees together. His body shakes with cries; I let him let it go. Let him pour out every tear he’s held back. Let him curse out the things he needs to say. . . .

-13-

 

 


	6. chapter five

 

 

 

Chapter 5

He had stopped crying some time ago.  
Now we occupy the hurt with his fond memories of her, and how they’ve been. He pushes me to talk about me to, but I want him to fill up his heart and mind with her. So I keep asking things about him and his sisters, his parents and maybe friends. He has no one but his sister now. He doesn’t leave the room, and Jinki’s been a lot of help for him. I know my brother is a god sent; he was made to love and care and is there for everyone and everything in human nature. My mother saw that in him, that’s why she sent him, not me.  
I’m almost jealous of him, I want to be there for Kibum too, I’ve wanted to see him again for so long and Jinki‘s been there for him for a few months, why didn’t he let me know.  
We hug and I help him up off the ground. We bow in respect before leaving back to Jonghyun’s. Kibum just doesn’t know who all’s been burnt in this room.

“You really think they want to hang out with me?” His worry is that he’s too young for us, he even includes me when I’m only a three years older, what a dork.  
“No, why would they. Age isn’t a matter . . . Jonghyun hangs out with teens more then people his age.” And a dorky grin spreads across his face. I frown

“You have to be careful of him . . . And Jinki works with kids are age, and like I said before-”

“You’re only three years older then me, I know, but you’ve never been your age to me, you act so much older.” I shrug and smile leading him in by the small of his back.

“Just be careful of Jonghyun though.” his head tilts off to the side

“Why?” I chuckle “because he likes pretty young cute boys.” he blushes and looks down.

“what about Minho, do you know what he likes?” I smile and pat the small of his back. Pulling him closer to me as two people walk by.

“pretty little things like you.” I peek down at him with a smile.

“Trust me Kibum, they’ll like you, me and Jinki won’t let anyone say other wise.” with that he smiles. We walk in and find all three still sitting around, laughing and talking, drinking and burping like wild men. How long was I?

“I was gone for an hour and you guys are already shit faced, fuck that!” A laugh emerges from them and key joins along.

“Jonghyun, Key needs a chair.” He nods and grins at the boy. Jonghyun likes younger teens, for more then mental capability, but for he’s attracted to people like key. Young and beautiful. He’s back with a chair faster then you can say Kim fucking Jonghyun, setting it up in between him and my brother. With a roll of the eye’s I sit back down next to Minho, who moves his chair close to me too place a hand on my knee, he rubs. When he goes to move it back I hold it there, keeping my hand on his. When was the last time I had a good fuck. I need one right about now.

He grins a dorky grin and I smile back. Jinki Okays Jonghyun to offer key some Vodka or beer or whatever else is sitting here on the table. Jonghyun gets up and brings me my bag of blunts. I thank him and pull one out, lighting it and passing it around.  
Kibum takes up a cold beer, smiling at me, the truth being told. He’s welcome like he’s been here the whole time

“Do you want a hit?” I ask him, holding smoke in my lungs for as long as I can hold it, the high stronger that way. He bites his lip and stares at the thick blunt burning in between my finger tips.

“Yeah.” He nods and I turn it around so he can grab the end.

“I’m not doing the selling tonight.” I sit back and look at Minho.

“Yeah” I grin and laugh at Kibum’s coughing. I look over at his red face, Jinki pats his back as Jonghyun chuckles taking a hit himself and passing it to my brother.

“Your first time huh!” Jonghyun asks blowing out smoke O’s key can only nod. trying to catch his breath, I take back the blunt and smoke, passing the weed among us. We talk and drink as the other three talk amongst themselves.

“So you’re staying with us for the night.” I whisper to him turning myself to the side, he nods grinning. I smile back drinking straight up vodka from a classy glass. Key still holds his beer, only had a few drinks and his cheeks are flushed with a dorky grin on his face as his red eyes dart back and froth between them. I pull my eyes away from him back to Minho. The noise quiets down people fighting outside, Jonghyun grabs his gun on the table taking the safety off . We all stay still, but it dies out and we start chatting again.

-14-

  
“my grandfather” I start to talk, they all look over at me. I look down at my glass and drink, and look back up.

“he told me, My son, There’s a battle between two wolves inside us all.” I lick my dry lips.

“One is Evil, It’s anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego.”

“The other is Good. It’s joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness and truth.”

“I thought about it and asked, which wolf wins?” I grin and chuckle.

“which one does?” Kibum asks leaning in with a smile.

“The one you feed.” he cracks up , already buzzed.

__________________

  
  
“I’m glad that you‘re staying” He grins back “yeah” his hand on my thigh inching up.  
I let him, opening up my legs and peeking over at him with a grin. He rubs the inside of my thigh gently, his pinky finger finding my groin. I smirk and drink more. Trying not to moan as his hand cups me, my lips are dry and my mouth. I lean over to grab Minho’s drink to finish it off. My cheek rubs against his and he stops his rough pawing hand. To kiss my cheek, I have blocked out the other three, and I try not to moan again, but I let out an undefined noise. Minho stops and I freeze, everyone going silent as I sit back, clearing my throat before Jonghyun bursts out laughing.

___________________

The night from there blurred out I remember Jonghyun’s camera flash here and there, wont know till he puts them up on his photo wall.  
Kibum was the first to pass out. We never went anywhere, all too drunken and high to go out. And as funny as it happened we all passed out at me and my brothers place. I in bed with Minho. Jonghyun on the ground with a pillow. Key was to sleep with Jinki for all around protection; I guess he has really bad night terrors. And there’s nothing in this world better then sleeping with my brother, even if he’s built he’s still soft and cozy to lay with.

As for Minho, I think I’m in heaven. His arm wrapped around me, body tight against me . . . Maybe I’m in hell. It’s hot, way to hot. Trying to wake myself, thinking in my head I need to wake up it’s to hot, my body insides are to hot and it’s making me sick.  
In shock I sit up fast and climb over his body, rushing to the restroom and turn the sink on, splashing water on my face. I have a horrible headache from drinking and Jinki needs to get up soon for work. My stomach bubbles and heat makes its way up to my throat. I hold my hand over my mouth and lift up the toilet set. I don’t have anymore time to think it’s coming up and out and I let it go. Falling to my knees for better accesses of getting it in the bowl and not having to clean it later.

“Let it all out tae, you’ll feel a lot better.” Jonghyun holds my hair back, knelling next to me a sugar sweet smile on his face. How can he handle his liquor so well, I frown? Just the thought of it makes me sick- I turn myself back to the toilet to finish off what I started. I hate throwing up, the urge to keep it going, when it won’t stop and you try making it, calming my breathing. I taste all the liquor and food we junked out on, it’s a gross mix.

A towel wait’s in his hand, I take it, flushing and standing up I wipe my mouth and smile at him.

“Thanks” I shyly look at him and down to my feet.

He nods and lets me pass so he can piss. I need water and a pain pill. . .I turn around and walk back into the small restroom, looking at his face and nothing lower, the sound of his peeing making it awkward.  
He raises his brows at me, a way of saying ‘what?’

“Do you have any painkillers, my head is pounding.” He zips his pants and digs through his pocket.  
His hand pulls out with a few different colored pills, he picks it out for me.

“I’ve got morphine.”

“ I’ll pay you back or with something.” He shakes his head, biting it in half taking the other half in between his teeth. Jonghyun places the two half’s in my palm.

“here, just take one half, if your head doesn’t stop hurting then you take the other half, but make sure you give it enough time to kick in before taking it or you’ll get really sick.” I nod and lead us out to the kitchen.

Jonghyun sits at the table and grabs his little black bag , opening it and pulling out a razor. I take a moment to watch him before I swallow the pill.  
He’s just wearing jeans and a thin white unbuttoned shirt, showing off his works. He pulls out a bag of pills from his other pocket and places it on the table. I find myself refusing to take my eyes away, watching how he’s going to take his.  
Cutting it up on the table, making line after line. He looks over at me and nods his head to come over. I bite my lip and walk to him , he grabs my hand and takes a half he gave me and starts to cut it. Watching beside him how he makes it into a perfect line, then licks his lips and pulls away so I can sit.

I sit on his lap and take the hundred dollar straw he offers in his left hand.  
With my index finger closing one nostril and a straw in the other, I lean down sniffing it up with all the air my lungs. I move the straw away and lean my head back, pinching my nose closed.  
My eye’s water from the stinging, and my nose feels like it’s on fire. I keep sniffing and rubbing my nose leaning my head back against his chest at the nape of his neck.

Jonghyun chuckles, hand at my neck rubbing lightly, his mouth at my left ear.

“That’ll kick in real soon baby” I nod and stand up so he can take his, after he’s done he leaves five lines on the table.

“Whose are those for?” I ask as I make us all food, eggs and meat cooking in one pan, and a loaf of bread being cut by Jonghyun at the table

“Ah, your brother and Minho.” I nod pulling a slice of steak out of the pan to a plate, flipping the other and managing to not break the yoke on the eggs. I spoon more grease on top of the eggs to cook the top.

I feel the high coming on and my stomach growls for food. I get those damn itchy highs, a scratch here and there, more like everywhere.

Jonghyun laughs next to me “got the itches huh” I smirk back at him and give him the finger.

“it means you’re nerves are numbing, did you know that.” He licks the zig zag paper rolling a joint. I lower the temperature on the burner. Leaving to go piss and wake the others. Even if my shorts are so very short and my shirt is as thin as they make them I’m still really hot. I do the last thing I can do. Take my shirt off, eyeing my reflection in the mirror. Long black hair big brown eyes, tan skin a curved nose big lips, but such a frail body. I bet if I had Jonghyun’s hair and body and style I’d get laid all the time. But I refuse to cut it or change anything. I sigh and tie my hair up and release my bladder. Washing my hands in the bucket of water we use. Not having running water to this room is the biggest down fall I have to admit, It really pisses me off.

“Minho wake up” I shake him smiling. I lean down and kiss his cheek and run my hand through his hair, pushing it back out of his face. Sweat beads down his forehead, I wipe it away and try to awake him again.

“Minho wake up, I have food for you and Jonghyun’s got some pretty lil lines waitin’ for ya” I use a sweet voice and this time his eye’s peek open, a small smile on his face and a husky groan escaping his throat . With that I sit up and wake my brother now, his arm being used as Kibum’s pillow.  
They don’t sleep close and Jinki managed to strip of everything but his underwear, key too. Nothing but underwear; I roll my eye’s at how modest key is while sleeping; arms on his chest, covering himself.

“hey you two wakey, wakey” Jinki moans and Key wakes sitting up fastly looking over at me and my brother then down at his bare chest. A squeak emits from him and he sits on his knees looking hectically around the bed for his shirt. He blushes and scrabbles off the top bunk with his shirt in hand. I get off the bed railing below me and watch Jinki sit up moaning and rubbing his face vigorously .

“where are we?” Key asks looking around while putting his shirt on, noticing his pants are off too he kneels down pulling the shirt over his knees, a little squeak emitting from him.

Minho behind us laughs and Jinki chuckles tossing the jeans down to me for him. I smile giving them to key.

“you passed out last night, and because we where all drunk as fuck, we carried you back here where we all drank more until we passed out.” I try explain and Jinki pipes in,

“I stripped you of your clothing in the middle of the night because it gets to hot. Nothing more.” With that he jumps down, a clumsy save from falling when he lands on the ground makes me crack up.

“what’s to eat it smells really good.” Kibum asks while pulling his pants up. My smile fades and I rush out of the room to find Jonghyun in my spot a grin on his face.

“you can learn from your mistakes remember that Lee Taemin. . . But I didn’t want to waste food or eat it burnt.” I sigh a sigh of relief and grab plates to start piling food on them.

“ah hell yes this is what I’m talking about.” Minho rubs his hands together and doesn’t waste time sniffing up three lines, passing the straw to my brother. I watch key walk out of the restroom a small smile on his face when he looks up at all of us. Jinki in just his boxers, Minho in jeans with a flannel shirt. I smile, loving life for moment of time.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter six

 

                   

 

Chapter 6

A slam of the front door makes me jump. Minho jonghyun and Jinki get into a fighting position as I run to Kibum and pull him back by the shirt.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU BRING HIM BACK!” I can only assume it’s Kibum’s sister, has she grown. Blonde hair pulled back, long bangs cover her right eye. . .bright blue eye’s. A curve to the nose and rosy pink lips. Her fighting position shows strength and power. Hell I know she has power behind her.

I try to avoid listening to the sniffles from my brother and Minho. She walked in at a bad time.

“Look Annie I know you wanted him home, but he passed out and I thought It’d be best just to bring him back. I was going to bring him home after he ate.”

“I can cook more if you want to stay.” I but in slyly and turn to the stove, preparing more food.

“taemin.” I look back at her. Key’s next to her, explaining who I was and the others, other then Jinki. I suppose they’ve fucked, but she seems like the hard to get type.

I look over at Jonghyun handing him the fork so I can go talk. He gladly takes it. I slowly approach her. Not sure if she’s still on grad or okay with me. Key holds her arm, smiling at me.

“You’re the kid from that night huh. . .you look a little to girly don’t you think.” I frown stopping in my tracks looking down at my bear chest.

“why is that a problem?”

“because you’ll get raped or taken in a place like this wearing that, you should know that.” I take notice in the fact that, she is more male like then most. Jeans, shirt, no fancy make up or wear. Not even her hair sticks out as a pretty type. She’s plain rough looking and those blue eye’s full of hate and boredom. How in the hell does Jinki manage her.  
I raise my hand out.

“I’ve been wondering when we’d met again.” With a smile I walk closer to her.

“let’s not fight.” she frowns more then what she was “weren’t you the one who told me to fight. To get up and kill him.” she looks at her brother.

“we’re leaving.” I messed up. I can’t think much anyway, I’m to high.

Later that day

Jinki left to work. Jonghyun’s getting his money with Minho. They’re coming back tonight to party again. I roll over listening to the people outside my open door.

The kids are playing on the roof, the shrieks of the cable wires traveling down into the room drowns out as another jet passes by.  
The loud life all around me as I lay here. I took the other half of that pill. I find myself in a spot of hell on my bed alone. Blacking out, sleep sounds so good . . .

The smell that night.

It was bad . . .wasn’t it.

I hadn’t got used to the smell of the alleys yet. It smelt like shit to be blunt. Ranky as fuck and I hated it. I hated that the place we had to move too had to smell so bad. I hated that it was made for poor like us. And the heat I hated it. The room was small and had mixed furniture from the past owner. It didn’t look like what we had with are dad. I hated it.

I hated when we had barley gotten comfortable with the room we had, and had to move to a new room so another could be made.  
I hated when My brother had to leave me to go work. How scared I’d get listening to people I didn’t know fighting.

Or how my hate all changed in one moment.

The moment when I wondered out. Trying to prove to myself that I was still the evil killer kid without that fear, exploring the alleys. I wanted to meet people, and kids to play with- or mess with.

After that I had met a good friend of mine, kai. He didn’t like his name because his dad gave it to him, and his dad left him with his mom. In a place like this, a single woman can do some things. Such as slave in a cramped room with nine other woman and kids at points, pilling stickers and making cd cases, or wrapping candy. The man that ran it was cocky son of a bitch and would stand at the door, short shorts, opened up smelling shirt and a hairy chest. Skin laired with scum. He wore black glasses and always had a toothpick in his mouth.

He was a sleazy mother fucker. I hated that man to. That’s why I killed him for kai. His mom was raped from time to time by him. At a point the had made kai and the other kids watch as he fucked the moms. When he told me, I went insane my hand twitched, a finger at a time.

It’s like . . .

It’s like

I’m there

“HE WHAT!”

“taemin no it’s not a big deal.” Kai try’s to push me back into his room. I push him to the ground and walk to my bag, pulling out the knife my brother gave me.

“I’LL KILL HIM” I say through grinding teeth. Trying my best not to hurt my friend as I walk past. He gets up and follows me down the stairs.

“are you sure you want to do this taemin?” His worry makes me stop, and I look back at him.

“so you’re fine with the memory of that.”

“no.”

“and you’re fine with him doing it again to your mom or anyone else.”

“no.”

“then why are you stopping me.”

His mouth opens, but not a word comes out, but a nod instead . At twelve you shouldn’t be thinking about killing a man. But I’ve been brought up to kill. Why not keep it going?

With that I keep going down to the first floor, walking past uncaring people, uncaring to see a young boy with a knife in his hand, a goal in his hateful eye’s. Every step I felt more stronger. Every person I passed, knowing I could kill anyone of them. Anyone of the men, looking at us kids like toys.

“Taemin,” Kai grabs my shirt and pulls me up against the wall, both are backs to it as the gang members walk past us, a young girl in their hands. Like she was taken, like what would have happened if I didn’t make it time for those two. . . I want to kill them too! Kai moves in front of me holding me back, pushing me against the wall as hard as he can.

“not them.” He whispers and looks back at them, one eye’s us, I’m thankful that my weapon is in my other hand and unseen. I’m still so mad, but thankful for kai. I wouldn’t have made it.

Once they’re out of sight he whispers again.

“Later, you’ll get them later.” With a nod we keep walking to the destination. We weren’t expecting to run in on him raping another women, but what was I to expect. The world is a curl place, and I live where rules are unheard of, men are the worst and women bare the shame of a toy. A thing, children stay alone, for what, their moms to be raped after working so hard to have a place to stay, food for their kids. The quiet ally ways of people passing this, this harm this thing I do, What good could I do then this. What can I do other then this, what my father made me, what my mother told me, who I’ve been around seen doing things people don’t talk about.

Passer bys block out her screams of help. What assholes.

I grip the knife, happy for a moment that his back is turned, bent over the girl, bobbing back and forth, hurting her.

I run at him and stab him more then once.

“THIS IS FOR HIS MOM.” one to the back, blood drip off the knife, the red soaking the white shirt blood flinging. The smell of it the crimson red on the floor. The feel of the blade running into the muscles and hitting bone, the thickness, pulling it out and doing it again.

“THIS IS FOR MAKING HIM WATCH.” two, his shoulder, he screams out more then I’d like to hear, I want him to shut up and die, suffer.

“THIS IS FOR ALL THE WOMEN YOU‘VE RAPED.” three, close to his heart. Die.

“THIS IS FOR THE GIRL YOUR ONTOP OF” four, next to his heart. Just die.

I pull him off her and get on top of him. She bows her head, scrabbling for her clothes, they’re ripped and his blood covers it. The man moans under me. And all the hate in me boils up, I stab him in the chest.

“You’ll go to hell.” I spit out. Five

“I’ll make sure you do.” I slice his neck open the blade sticky with blood I loosen and grip the knife, baring my teeth and yelling I’ll give another full blow, with all the strength I have with both hands covered in his blood, this mess I’ve made of a mans body, but the want to keep doing it, all my held up anger to stab the middle of his eye’s.

Six. God what a mess I’ve made

I stop, and breath. And look over at the women, she’s dressed and standing off to the side, she looks scared but relieved. I look over to kai on the door steps, still, eye’s wide. I look down at my hands, covered in blood, my shirt and pants to. I don’t doubt that I’m covered in the red sticky substance. I drop the knife and with shaky hands I wipe them on my shirt. A smile on my face such a calming feeling filling me up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how you're liking it. I would like to post some photos, but I want to know if you'd like to see them first, photos of the real walled city in hong knog, I based this as much as I could on it. I did this two years ago. I'm still working on it, This is my baby. And I'd really like to hear how you're liking it. <3 thank you for reading it and taking your time to do so.<3 <3
> 
> And shinee, they mean the world to me, six years and they still, mean the world to me. I can't go a day without looking at them or knowing how they are. Hell when they're touring I pray that their plane is safe and they get to where they're going safe. I'd be in hell right now if it wasn't for them. From being homeless and living in a car with my family. All i had was a pen paper, and some photos of them. I lived happy becasue of them.
> 
> I want everyone to know that they can over come anything, as long as you have something. Writing, drawling, caring for others, hell I cut. Anything, you can do to get by, but not die, is what I pray for, for everyone. I love you guys out there. thank you again for reading.


	8. Chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope you're liking it

 

 

**Chapter 7**

 

 

“I’ll see you there.”   
  
His eye’s, staring right at me, mouth agape.

Kai’s steps bring me back to reality. My mind fulfilled for the moment. I get off the guy, he’s half naked, what a gross piece of rotting flesh. I contain the want to cut off his dick.

The three of us talk about the plan to rid of the body. And the best come up was, burn him. I brought it up, they just had to help. I made kai take the girl back to her place to change into clean clothes, which gives me enough time to cut him up and shoved him in bags, they met me and the three of us carried him out to the alley where I had burnt the others. I made them go home and told them not to tell anyone.

What bad choices I’ve made.

I moan and roll over waking up to laughter. Opening my eye’s to see Minho and Jonghyun walking in with my brother.

Is it night already? I moan, and smack my mouth. It’s so dry, I’m hot and hungry. . . But I don’t want to move yet. Just stay here, with my eye’s closed, body relaxed, so fucking relaxed.

“taemin?” My brother sounds like he’s worried.

“Tae. . .” His hand is on my forehead.

“shit. Jonghyun come here!”

“what’s up”

“he’s really fucking hot, I think he’s sick.” a hand is on my head again.

  
“yeah. . . . Get a washcloth and wet it with cold water”

“wa.ter” My throat is sore and dry. It hurts to try too swallow and I want water.

“Jinki Get a cup of water to!” he yells out, and I smile with my eye’s still closed. My tongue is dry, like when your nose gets clogged when you’re sick. And you have no other choice but to resort too the mouth open all night, only to wake up and have too produce saliva with a dry ass tongue. That miserable cotton mouth, and chapped lips, cracked so bad that licking them hurts. Yeah that’s how my mouth feels right now. A dried up desert.  
I crack open my eye’s to see who all is around the first person I catch is Jonghyun, on his knees next to me biting his lip Minho stands behind him, thumb nail at his mouth biting on it. I smile at him to and push my hair back. Jonghyun helps me sit up so I can pull off my shirt. I lay back, I want to talk, but I want water more.  
My brother comes back with what was asked for. The cold rag on my forehead feels like heaven, and the cold water going down my throat like a saving grace. I close my eyes, so pleased clearing my throat.

“thank you” I murmur sitting up, throwing my legs over the bed.

“What time is it?” I readjust my eye’s blinking repeatedly, and take another drink. I hate when your tongue does get dry and when you do get water on it, it leaves a sticky like texture to the mouth.

“late.” I roll my eyes Jinki, why do you do that.

“I got that captain obvious.” he chuckles, and I smile closing my eye’s and rubbing my head above my eyebrows. Holding the plastic cup of water on my knee

I remember when Jinki found out I killed those guys. Things where leading back to me, who last saw the filthy merchandise sales man, I was there. Who last saw the three that ran the human trafficking system oh I happened to be there too. Who killed a teen a few months ago? I don’t know, do you?

I clear my throat.

“Can I get some time alone guys. I don’t want to go out tonight.” I look over at Jonghyun his pouting eye’s, one black blue and purple. What a punch that Choi can throw.

“Why not kiddo?” My brother asks and I shrug.

“I just want to be alone. Is that a problem?” I want to give my brother my classic glair. But I can’t bring myself use that much energy. I just close my eyes and lay back down. A knock takes the three away from my side. I hear Kibum’s sweet voice, asking to hang out with us. I moan and roll over. I just want to go back to bed.

  
I have no clue what the guy’s did. But Key stayed with me, we at first laid in my bed face to face talking about life and problems with it. I hate that we can take it as it goes but the thoughts stay with us. So you think you’ll forget, but you think about that one thing you want to forget more then you want, and the moment you wish to remember for the rest of your life, you end up forgetting the feeling. Like its years away from you. Like you can’t ever get it back and you have to come to terms that you won’t.

“Do you hate me for what I did to your sister? Or the memory of it.”

His brows frown and he pauses.

“I don’t hate you. I hate Annie.”

“Why?”

He sits up and I sit up with him.

“Because she could have stopped them. She tells me I should hate her because she could have.” I frown and put a hand on his knee. As to comfort a broken soul. A scream is heard outside the door. Maybe a murdering going on next door or rape, I know there’s a girl a few doors down. With a sigh I stand up and motion for him to stay.   
My pounding head, I need to release this pound, I need to do something outrageous. Something most don’t do to rid of such a thing, like the pounding head that tells me to kill. To kill who harms and murders for sin. I do it to rid of evil, but that doesn’t mean I think I’m a god’s sent, it means I’ll be seeing all the victims I’ve killed without mercy in hell myself.

I grab my knife and walk out listening to the silent screams. A girl being muffed out but I hear her begging, begging for help, I walk down the hall getting closer. My mind losing its reality. Going off to one thing, kill, kill kill. My knife poised in my hand, I’m ready to murder with a calm.  
I build my house of shame, one card at a time, close to falling down, the wind of my actions shaking it making it push over. I’m I taking this too far I think to myself kicking open the door, this chaos in my head.

Two men hold a girl down; I push one off and stab the top of his head, the base of the knife against his hair. I grip it tightly with both hands and pull it out. Kicking his body down letting the corpse fall to the floor. The room is silent, I look at the other running away past me. Oh he doesn’t know who he’s fucking with. I look down at the girl and help her up.

“Shut the door, don’t let anyone in. I’ll be back for the body. Understand.” She wipes the tears from her eyes and nods sniffing. Palming her skirt down and pulling her underwear up tears still running down her face.

“thank you. . .but do you think you‘ll get him?” she looks scared, fear in her eye’s.

“I’ll try my best, did they have any weapons?”

“I think he had a knife.” she points to the dead one while talking and I nod looking out the door, gripping the rough base of my knife at my side.

“I want you to get it keep it on you alright.” she nod’s

“the one that left had a gun, I don’t know if it was loaded or not.”

“I promise I’ll kill him, and no one will come back to you, you have my word. I live three doors down. Come to me when ever you need. I need to go.”

“Thank you so much. . .” she opens her mouth to say a name but closes it because she doesn’t know mine, nor do I know hers;

“ taemin, my brother is Jinki, you?” she smiles wiping her wet eye’s.

“sully, thank you so much.” I hug her and leave, reminding her to lock the door and grab the knife to keep safe if anything was to happen.

I have to find him I don’t have choice. Before I do I need to find key and head back to the room.

“Hey.” I open the door and look over at the bed where I last saw him. Annie’s on her knees holding his face as he cry’s

“What’s wrong?” I walk in, trying to wipe the sticky blood off my hands on my shirt and jeans and try to do the same to my knife.

“He can’t handle screams like that.” She glairs over at me and I grind my teeth. I can’t play this pity pour game with Kibum, he needs to get over it and grow up.

“The guy is still out there, I have to go.” I have no time to fight with her and deal with key. I need to get this guy before he gets me, or someone else goes back to sully or word gets out that I’ve been the one killing people off here.  
This is a really bad position I’m in.

I think back to when I was young living with my dad. Me and my gang from school, lead a girl out to the woods. We circled around her, calling her names, laughing at her pushing her around. I got this nasty feeling in me, the feeling of want to do something bad. And I picked up a good sized rock and hit it against her head. One of the girls pulled her shirt off, and a guy kicked her several times on the ribs. We watched her die trying to grab at the ground. I thought I was going to have to knock her head again but she was gone a minute later.

Police caught on, and came to are house my father dealt with it; I wasn’t convicted because my father offered a good fuck with my step sister, she was fourteen at the time.  
But that didn’t mean he didn’t punish me for what I had done.

He tied me up to his bed, whipping me with his leather whip every inch of my body for a week in a dark room. Putting his sharp pointed nail into my ass and cut me up from the inside, fucked me raw. I have scars all over my body from that punishment.

His words memorized in my head

“I’ll do to you, what my father had done to me, little boy, fucking slut, killing girls and enjoying it. You are my son, made form my cum that’s inside of you now. I bet you fucking love this, the person you are, my sinning slut.” it was . . . Exotic and. .

I did.

Breathing in I shiver off the thought and mind my running in and out of walk ways, staircases, dirty wet slops. I race down the steps in search for him slowing down an ally way, the sound of dripping water, tapping against the wet ground. no one down this way, the ally is unnerving and quiet every room I peek in, is empty and being built onto. I walk back and try another hall full of mothers fathers children all about their day.  
My blood races through my body gives me back my nasty thrill, everything boiling up in me. My father made me the way I am, and it hurts me still. . .because I need this. I need to kill, see and smell the blood. Feel the rush and high.

I go back entirely, meeting the main tube of ants,

I pass my brother and the others. But I keep going on, not listening to them calling my name, or running behind me. All I want is to find him, brown hair, and beard; he had black sun glasses on. What was he wearing? Shit.  
I don’t think his shirt was buttoned, and dirty jeans, I remember dirty feet too. I have to find him. I check each floor, listening for chaos around any corner.

I run back into my brother, this time face to face as he won’t let me go, his hands grabbing my arms tightly.

“I have to find him!” I push him off me and glair at Minho and jonghyun if they get in my way I’ll kill them too. I know I won’t lose him if I get him now, fresh on the tracks, I can’t stop now or he’ll find me, or have a gang will fuck me up or he’ll keep doing what he does.

He needs to die! I push through them and run down more stairs. Finding myself on the first floor, shops lit up and running, people like ants in an ant pile going on about their work to keep this dark city running. I walk pass a drunken homeless man sleeping on the side. I find an open door lit by florescent lights down and away from the view of people, and I hear him. Talking to. .it sounds like a group of people.

“Fuck.” I silently curse walking down the ally way silently, listening to that voice.  
“this girl was a sweet fuck, you should have come like I told you, we would have killed that fucker”

“where is he anyway?”

“I don’t fucking know, he came out of no where, put a knife to nix’s head, I swear he fucking came out of no where.”   
  
I look off to my brother, and the four following down the hall. Key worried but acts cool, jonghyun a drug ruler holding his metal bat over his shoulder and my brother has his machete. Annie’s strong glair knuckles and fighting skills reinsures me. Minho, the tallest holds his own with a thick chain around his neck. I grin and look around us, no one to worry about seeing.

 


	9. Chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I find taemin to be such a devil i'm sorry. I love him.

 

 

 

Chapter 8

I remember when Jonghyun told me how he lost his baby sister. A poor boy left here by his parents, made to fend for himself and the little baby. He would go and find bottles in the trash left around in the dumping area going without food to fed her. Sweeping floors to get some milk for the infant. He said that he’d have to leave her alone for some time before he’d be back with food for her. When she was three and he was ten, he got himself into selling drugs; I think even his body just to keep a small room and food going for her and him. He had no one. No one wanted to help him, and he had no one to watch her so he had to leave her at times to do his work.  
Even going as far as having the men come to him so he wouldn’t have to leave her.   
But one day, he didn’t have a choice, but to leave her while she slept so he could get fresh water.

In that time she was raped and killed. He came back the moment the guy walked out. And his shirt was unbuttoned and shoeless, dark sun glasses. I look over at Jonghyun; his eyes have fire in them, if that could really happen. Brows frowned so hard his face might stay like that. He’s the one that starts the fight. Whacking the bat against the mans knees so hard the crack and loud scream sends beautiful shivers down my spine. Minho keeps the four other men off to the side with Annie and Jinki. Key stays off to the side, not a scared bone in his body, but a frown then a smirk, watching the fat man being beaten by me and jonghyun.

“Give me your knife.” Jonghyun spits out looking at me, I hand it to him. Blood covers the man, his eyes are shown now. Glasses off eye’s on Jonghyun, he kicks him down to the ground and grips my knife. The man rolls onto his stomach, trying to get up, Jonghyun kicks the mans side making him scream out in pain. Jonghyun flips the man back over pulling off his pants to cut his groin off.

I look away, it hurts just watching. And his scream makes my stomach curl up. Key watches, eyes wide. I grin at him and look over to the others watching with him. I catch my breath and look back over. He put it in the guys mouth, and now. Shit, I look away again; he slams the jaw closed, making the alive and knowing man bite his own dick. He’s still breathing, alive and taking the torture.

I have no clue what it feels like to be Jonghyun, but I’d think I would have done the same thing if I had seen what happened to his sister. She was fucking three.

He cuts the mans fingers off one at a time, I sit down next to Jonghyun torturing the man who still breaths, as his skin slowly cuts open by the knife. Jonghyun writes words onto his skin, zoned out. I hold his hand and make him look at me.

“He deserves to be dragged on the dirty ground we walk on, and burned alive.” he nods and gets off the dying man.

The other men limp away beaten and bruised, told not to tell anyone of what happened or they’d die too. I lead the way to the fire pit. Both me and Jonghyun pulling him by the legs.

I smile at passer bys, who say nothing about the naked mans body being dragged upon the fetid covered ground.

Dirty as fuck, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like this place. There’s a lot of bullshit I’d like to do without; that we have to deal with on the everyday basses. I hate it here some day’s. But for this reason I can deal with it, it’s easy to fulfill my blood thirst when the grounds are so dirty you’d never know a dead man was being dragged.

We drag him in the room Key and his sister sit outside the door. I understand. Jinki stays out with Annie, as me and Minho help shove the nasty fuck in the into the room, the man screams horrifically before passing out. We drop him on the cement the thump of his dead weight body hitting the ground sends a thrilling shiver through me.

“Let’s cut him up till he dies out.” I offer the idea and look at Jonghyun, he smirks. The man still breathing.

“you’ve done this before.” He asks, I grin at him walking to the single table old. Covered in blood and dirty water soaked into the crevasses and layers of the wood from it’s of use.

“we need more knifes, Minho can you get the machete and butcher knife from my brother.” he nods and leaves the room.

“maybe” I grin to myself. Jonghyun turns around smirking

“really” His eye’s tense biting his bottom lip. I swallow and bow my shoulders, I pull off my shirt a wife-beater underneath.

“we need to talk sometime” Jonghyun says with a smirk and wiggles his brows. I chuckle, and poke at the wood, throwing more in, raising the flame high.

I let Jonghyun and Minho chop him up, as I keep the fire going.

“I have another guy we need to burn, I’ll need some help.” I state fire burning high.

“Alright, we’ll get him after this fucker. Stop by my place after we do them both so I can fucking get high.” Jonghyun answers, He looks back at me wiping his brow with the back of his bloody hand. The other holds the mans arm, dangling. I remember that night with that girl and kai, how odd it felt tossing pieces of body into the pit

“How about you kid?” I nod a grin on my face “It’s about time you fucking ask me.” He chuckles and looks over at Minho who grins at me and him.

“Sounds good to me, maybe me and taemin should go get that guy now, while you finish this up.” Minho makes a pass at me and Jonghyun nods.

“Go with Jinki, I need to talk to Taemin right now.” I try not to chuckle at Minho’s plan being bombed. And grab a few limbs to burn from Jonghyun’s pile. The room is red, flames lighting it up, ash flickers out of the pit and I move away. The smell is fucked up; I hate this shit the most. I cover my nose with the hem of my shirt, watching the flesh burn to ashes. It’s like burnt meat that wasn’t good in the fist place. I grab the big bag of sugar I leave here and pour half the bag in. Sugar keeps the smell away, so the scent of burning carcasses won’t be smelt by passer by’s. I peek at Annie watching me, her arms crossed leaning against the door way, Key must have left with my brother and Minho to get the other guy.

“So tell me taemin.” Jonghyun states, His arm flying down, the butcher knife cuts the flesh and clanks against the cement ground and the mans calf is cut off from the knee. I watch him move the knife up to his thigh, his pants are off, from when Jonghyun cut his dick off, and I tossed that in first.

“What?”

Annie comes in all the way, grabbing my knife to help. I grab the rest of the leg and toss that in, waiting for the head that Jonghyun’s raising his hands to chop off. The loud sound of the metal hitting the ground echoes. A shiver runs down my arms and I walk over to the decapitated head, picking it up blood pours out, It reminds of a fight I got into when I was fourteen, This guy I worked for was such an asshole to his daughter, and in a unfortunate event, I found out that he was fucking her too, even got her pregnant then made her give it up to his brother and his wife, they wanted a kid.  
Me being me I had to save this girl, that beaten and bruised poor girl. I cut his fucking head off with one swing, and saved up money from selling drugs, to get her on a plane out of here. She was seventeen, and wanted to act, she was beautiful as fuck from the last time I saw her. She’s in big movies now in America.

I smile tossing the head into the fire, how many body’s have I burnt in you, pit of fire, in this red lit room, smoky from the burning corpse.

“How many have you killed?” Annie finishes her question I chuckle what I weird thing to ask.

“To be honest I stopped counting after fourteen.”

Jonghyun’s heavy breathing I can hear from here, he looks over at me.

“How many.” Jonghyun asks now. I look over at Annie; she cut up the leg so I go grab it. Jonghyun watches me the whole time.

“Taemin fucking answer me.”

I toss the body pieces in the fire, looking at the ground.

“A lot alright I’ve fucking killed a lot of people.” I glair at him, he looks down at the rest of the body, all that’s left is the stomach and chest, so I suppose we’re just going to throw that in.

“Do you always burn them?” Jonghyun asks.

I smile at them, walking over to help pick the fat fucks body up and carry it to the pit

“Always, my first time was with Annie. We both thought about the best way to rid of a body, and the three of us managed to shove them into this pit, we where here for some time, huh.” I look over at Annie, she just nods and we toss the body into the flames. Now we wait for the next one, I wonder how that girl is.

“This man and the other one were about to rape the thirteen year old a few doors down from me. I was talking with key when we heard her crying for help. I could have stayed and done nothing, or go and kill a man that will end up just doing it again if I don’t.”

“And isn’t he the one who. . .” I don’t want to strike a nerve.

“Yeah he is.” Jonghyun finishes it for me. Annie keeps to herself, standing too the side with her arms crossed, waiting for the next body to help with.

“I have to help this place, and if that means killing to help I will.” I pull my cigarettes out and offer one to each of them, Annie shakes her head no and Jonghyun takes one. I light it for the both of us and inhale the fucking smoke with bloody hands.

“This shit sucks, why is he so fucking heavy.” I hear Minho complaining in the hall way. Jinki Kibum and Minho haul the body in. Key and my brother are smiling, laughing at Minho. Kibum looks good, happy not sad and worried. He looks so chill with all this, I wonder. .

“Chop him up or what?” I ask grabbing the other arm with Minho, My brother and Kibum are at the legs, Key is holding the mans thigh under his arm. As for my brother his hands are under the ass holding most of the guy up. We move him to the middle of the cramped room and drop him. Not caring to place him down softly. He’s dead anyway.

“How’s the girl doing?” I ask and look over at my brother.

“She’s alright, shaken up, but she’s fine, I told her if she ever gets scared to come over too are place.”

I nod with a smile. “I hope she will; I want the girls here to feel protected, not an object of sex.” I put out there. Taking a stick to the pit, pushing the ashes around, embers flicker out and burn in the air.

“Same here.” Annie puts in, I look over at her and smile, She gives me a small one back but looks over at Key, who stands next to Jonghyun, asking if he can help cut the guy up to fit.

I raise a brow and look back at his sister; she frowns but doesn’t say anything to it. Jonghyun asks if it’s okay and she shrugs.   
Jinki’s smoking with Minho off to the side. I grab the butcher knife from Jonghyun and start to cut the body up, arms legs head, All in one chop each, I can do this I’ve done it many times. So the others watch as I quietly cut the body up. Key takes the limbs and throws them into the fire.

“Taemin. Why do you do what you do?” Jonghyun asks I push hair out of my face with a bloody hand, frowning, looking over the torso and chest, what’s left of the once living man.

“I told you already.”

Jonghyun frowns back and thinks of another thing to ask, as I and Minho toss the rest of the body in the fire. The plan was that we where all going over to Jonghyun’s, even Annie and Kibum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in blood


	10. chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jonghyun removes his shirt, and pants, and I move off to the side smiling at him as he joins me, the water pours over him and engulfs him, the steam emitting off the water keeps us warm from the cool air traveling in.

“Turn around, let me get your back.” Jonghyun demands I do, the washcloth warm against my sensitive skin makes me smile. I cross my arms, the palms of my hands against my shoulders. He scrubs me down, from my back down over my butt, the backs of my thighs. I moan the backs of my knees and ankles. I turn around and let him clean me up. Starting at my feet, the cloth rubbing against my toes. I wiggle them and stare down at this guy. He just smiles, mind fixed on cleaning my skin. He works his way up calves, my knees and in between my thighs, and something I didn’t expect, he goes around my limp dick, to my hips, cleaning around my groin.

He’s a true gentleman, a meaning far from being polite and cultured who behaves with courtesy and thoughtfulness. I love him more then I should let myself.   
The cloth is at my neck, lightly cleaning my jaw, he pulls it back to rinse it off and squeezes the dirty water out a few times before adding more soap, so he can clean my face. I close my eye’s and suck in my lips as the warm washcloth rubs against my cheeks, mouth nose and eyes, I don’t open my eyes. But listen to his warm chuckle as he moves me around so I can rinse off the soap under the showers water. My back turned to him as I pull back my hair and rub my hands over my face. I open my eyes and smile. He pulls me to him and kisses the nape of my neck, wrapping his arms around my torso. I turn around and smile at him, grabbing the cloth, I was covered in days of blood, and he, with tonight’s actions is covered as well. So now it’s my turn to clear him up. Make him feel the love he gave me.

When I finish his body I rinse the rag and do as he did, making sure it’s rinsed nicely I add more soap and clear his face, his nose and chin forehead and jaw, behind his ears. He grins,  
“I like this, I needed a shower buddy.” His hands hold my hips, and I smile. All of me wants him,

“I don’t mind being one.” He chuckles and I move him around so he can rinse off his face. I watch him from behind, rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair, head leaning back with his eyes closed, such a lovely looking man. Those back muscles, down to his toned ass, and those legs. He turns around and smiles, his stunning face dazes me. I don’t know what to say, nor does he, other then are fixated stare.

I’m I good enough to even be this close to him?   
I wonder if he even likes me, or maybe likes the way I like him. In a much more then a fuck buddy or friend way, I really want him to be mine.

“What are you thinking?” He turns off the water and opens the shower curtain, grabbing two towels. He hands me one and I wrap it around my shoulders and step out, he wraps his around his waist and joins me.

I can’t stop staring at him, I’m in shock, and I need to know what to do.

He chuckles, and pulls me out and to the bed. We smile like fools and jump on the white plush mattress, not minding are wet bodies. Jonghyun lies next to me, elbow next to my head as I look over at him, my hands rest on my chest, towel discard. He leans over me are noses lightly touch and I close my eye’s smiling, breathing slowing down. When I open my eye’s I find him fixedly staring at me biting his lip.

“What are you thinking?” I ask him and smile; he grins and shakes his head. I raise my brows at him and grin.

“Really, what are you thinking?” I move a hand from my chest, to the side of his face, my thumb rubbing his stubbles coming in. I keep a smile and wrinkle my eyes with it, baring my teeth. He won’t stop staring at me.

“What.” I ask softly.

“I’m thinking . . . I really like you.” It’s quiet as we stare at each other, not knowing what to say I sit up and kiss him softly, and lay back down with a smile.

“I like you to.”

He grins and starts are night, kissing my neck then back up to my lips, a sloppy kiss and he goes back down to my neck. Inching his way to the crook of my neck, I shiver and moan the light kisses send my stomach crazy feelings twisting and turning. I place a hand on his chest and lightly push him back so I can see his face.

“I need to smoke.” He says with a smirk

“Your stomach twisted.” he adds I nod with a giggle, making me feel great inside and all over.

“Yes.”

He chuckles “so is mine.” he takes my breath away, and I swallow.

My stomach drops even more, this guy. He gets off me and I follow behind him to the kitchen, friends gone and out. I’m glad, being butt naked and all, jonghyun still has his towel around his hips. I sit at the table, resting my head in my hand propped with my elbow, and crossing my leg over my knee. I admire the man as he pulls out a blue round cookie tin, smiling at me putting the tin down on the table so he can move his chair next to me and I grin the whole time. Jonghyun grabs the tin and cracks it open I lean in to see what occupies it. Blunts, joints and a few buds of weed are sorted in the metal container. The smell is to die for, the skunk smell but so much better my mouth waters and I wait for him to light up a blunt he chooses, looking over at me as he takes the first hit to start it up.   
Passing it to me, I inhale the grape flavored cigar paper and the weed filling it. I touch his forearm and he takes the blunt inhales and touches my hand, I take it inhale and pass it back, we keep doing this silently, touching inches of the skin. The feeling sending waves of emotion through me, goose bumps cover my body and I giggle out of nowhere rubbing my legs to make them go away. Jonghyun smiles a dorky smile and pulls the shirt off the chair behind him and hands it to me.

“Thanks.” I smile and put it on, and grab the near to being a roach and pinch it with my finger nails, pucker my lips, inhaling the smoke and holding it as long as I can. I don’t like to waste good weed. I pass it to him and he does the same, I shake my head when he offers me more.

“You high?”

I nod “yeah.” I cough and cover my mouth, he looks at me in such a way, I can’t explain.

“I’m going to put it out then.” I nod and watch him take another hit, and puts out the roach.

“Are you hungry?”

I ponder this, am I? I can’t tell if my stomach is upset from this feeling I’m getting with him, or if its hunger. I don’t think I ate but this morning, I shake my head and get up.

“I’d rather get back to bed.”

“you sure about that.” My stomach growling in response, I frown yet smirk, most the guys want me in bed so fast. yet I have been the one taking charge of taking the steps to get into his jeans. I nod,

“yeah, what do you have?” I walk around the table to the fridge opening it, he has some stuff, I’d expect more, hell me and Jinki have more to offer. He grabs my thighs and runs his hands up to my hip bones.

“I don’t eat a lot.” He leans over talking in my ear, I lick my lips.

“I can make some dope ramen though.” I chuckle I sit up leaning against his chest.

“please, lets just get to the fucking bed, I’ll eat later.” He laughs and pulls me the room, he leads me to the end of the mattress and turns me around to look at him. I smile, his palm against my cheek I lean my head into his hand and hold the other side of his hand. Pulling his hand away to kiss his fingertips, I breath in blink and look at him. He stares at me, eyes deep with wonder lightly shaking his head with a smile.

“I think I love you kid.”

“Don’t talk about love Jonghyun. We’re going to fuck. Not love.” I hope he gets it

“Don’t tell me that again okay.” I ask him, watching him

 

 


	11. chapter 11

Chapter 11

Everyday I go by believing in her words and the things he made do. Playing out everything I know about living life to the fullest with god, or, to live longer then I would if I walk the way of evil.   
Yet I could always do good, what should I do, cut the blue wire or red, which one will blow me up or save me.

I bite my finger looking up at the clean ceiling laying in bed next to Jonghyun. We could be something more, but will I let it happen? Can I really give this part of me to him. I look over at him sleeping thinking to myself if I should leave, or stay?

Heart racing I look back up breathing rushing blood pumping, I grab the edge of the sheet.  
And sit up moving the sheet off my legs, but his arm pulls me back into bed. I don’t look at him feeling his eye’s fixed on me.

“why you running.” His slurs his words with a husky sleepy voice making me quiver. My naked body heats up.

“I. .I don’t know why.” He ‘hums’ deeply and cuddles me closer.

“stay with me tae, I like you to much.” I bite my lip and look over at him, his half lidded eyes on mine.

“why me though?” He shrugs

“I just do, don’t think to hard on it. . .stay with me.” I nod and kiss his neck, cuddling into his chest.

I fell asleep, waking in his room door shut. I can hear him talking, but not to anyone I know. Sitting up I look around the room for my clothes while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Moaning I stand up from the bed and walk to the bathroom too piss. Finding my clothes I put them on and walkout, not minding the blood caked on the fabric. Jonghyun is handed two stacks of money. With a nod from the man and jonghyun, he leaves.

“Just got paid, lets go get the group and go out for a while.” The morning sun burns through his open window, Taemin nods grinning.

“I’d love to get out of these clothes first.”

Jonghyun chuckles wearing his clean outfit for the day, they walk the alleys, Jonghyun paranoid, he sniffed down three lines before leaving. He keeps a arm around his bag with the money, and rubs his nose every few seconds with the other. Taemin keeps from snickering while walking to his room. Jinki sits at the table reading the paper, such an old man thing he does. Taemin rolls his eyes and walks straight to the room pulling and tossing his clothes off. Digging around his dresser, finding a thin ripped and holed black t-shirt, and light fading blue jeans with ripped and shredded holes at the knees. It’ll do, better then blood covered shit. Taemin walks back out, eyes catching Jonghyun counting his money. Camera hanging around his neck, he looks up and smiles at me. I smile back and sit next to the two. Listening in on the talking.

“We can go to the club, beach, hell lets stay a night at the casino.”

Jinki shakes his head a small smile on his face.

“Lets stick to home, at least Taemin and me.”

“oh okay then lets go to the new club across the way.”

“Yeah, sure.” Jinki flips another paper, setting Jonghyun on edge, he sits back in the chair and rubs his eyes with a moan.

“I took too many lines.”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock.” I input with sarcasm, he flips me off and sits up.

“Alright, club it is, lets go.” He stands while talking, hopping, shaking his arms around, warming his body up.

Jinki sighs and stands up fallowing Jonghyun and me out the door. We walk the halls and stairs to Minho’s. He’s in the middle of beating a man senseless, foot kicking the man in the ribs over and over. When he’s done, the body limp and still. Taking a rag off his buckle loop, wiping the sticky substance off his hands. Minho walks to the three of us.

“What’s up.” Minho asks, look up from his hands.

“Clubbing, wanna come.”  
  
The gang member smirks.

“Hell yeah, let me change out of this piece of shit’s blood.”

He clicks his fingers a few times and a young boy rushes to his side.

“Clean this shit up and give my father a message after his meeting, that I’m going to be out all night.” The kid nods and runs out of the room, two people come in and grab the body, dragging the man off.

The three of us wait for Minho, standing about in the hall.

“Are we going to see if Kibum and Annie are gonna tag along.” I ask. Smoking cigarette after cigarette while waiting, I need another pack.

“Yeah, if Annie’s cool with it.” Jinki answers with a long sigh, smoke releasing from his lungs.

How long does this fucker need to get dressed, he better fucking look good if it takes this long. I drop the butt and step on it, walking over to Jonghyun, wrapping my arms around him from behind. Leaning my head against his shoulder. He puts a hand over mine an and pulls me in front of him, leaning his head down to kiss my lips, to which I oblige. Kissing back, tongues moving without thought, just need.

Jinki groans and rolls his eyes, leaning his back against the wall staring at the cement ground. While the two make-out for the rest of the time, waiting another five minutes before Minho walks out wearing suit pants and a suit jacket, no shirt, a black leather belt with a holster, gun accompanying it. His hair is slicked back and he looks clean, down too shining black shoes.

I sigh, finally. I pull away from my man and let Jonghyun lead the group. Going by to pick up Kibum and his sister, we all walk down stairs and through alleys to the second floor. Before partying Jonghyun takes the group to his opium den.

“Alight, who does what, lets get doped up here.” Jonghyun rubs his chin, looking over at Taemin.

“Party drug, and a line.” I give my order fastly, on edge to finally get out. Like a loin caged and pulled, picked on and tortured. I’m breaking out of my cage, be with people like I use to, party and see lights of my world I’m close to forgetting.

Jonghyun nods and I walk behind him to the bathroom. He grins before handing me a white pill.

“You’ll feel good baby.” I nod and watch him grab miscellaneous drugs and follow him out to the main room. Annie is sitting with Kibum Minho and Jinki at the table all talking, and a laugh happens to escape her mouth.

“Alright kiddies lets get fucked up tonight, all on me, I’ll give you guys some dough to spend.” He looks over at the siblings. Annie’s smile lightens and she nods.

Kibum took a pill with Annie, she told him it’s fine, she’s done it before. Jinki takes two lines, and Minho three lines. Jonghyun takes another one, still fucked up from his three and a half lines an hour ago.

We all sit around a U shaped booth, drinking and laughing watching people dance about the club, I giggle, legs over Jonghyun’s lap. The music is loud and this group is fucked up. Not making sense when talking, talking about things that don’t make sense. Kibum is sitting next to Minho while Annie and Jinki get up too dance around. Without really thinking about it me and Jonghyun are making out again. And from the corner of my eye I watch Kibum get his first hickey and french kiss, he’s hard and pulls Minho’s hand down to rub his member. I groan horny as hell, letting Jonghyun grab my neck tightly while leaving a hickey on my collarbone. He let’s go and talks in my ear.

“I have to get out of here, we need to go.” I nod to his words and get off him, looking over at the other two. Kibum is on Minho’s lap whimpering loud enough for me to hear over the music, as Minho bites and sucks his neck. He’s such a virgin. Jonghyun walks off to tell Jinki we’re going, but they already left.

The four of us make are way to Jonghyun’s place. All ready and really horny. We all make our way to Jonghyun’s bed. Minho, holding Kibum tosses him on the bed taking his clothes off fastly. Jonghyun pulls his clothes off, and Taemin follows them. Kibum getting the hint pulls his clothes off fastly. I lay next to him, grabbing his hand smiling over at him.

“It’s going to feel so good baby, you’ll like it.” We lay breathing hard from excitement, hands still together, as the two men prepare their dicks, lubing themselves getting ready to fuck us.

Minho gets on his knees in between Kibum’s legs, and leans down to eat the kid out before his lubed fingers stretch his hole.

  
“Just fuck me.” I stop Jonghyun while lubing himself.

Kibum groans under the mans tongue, I watch the teen being deflowered next to me, Annie’s going to be pissed, and Minho, well lets just say this most likely won’t be his last with him. The way he’s just enjoying the kid’s moans is sweet to watch. I almost feel dirty watching him lose his virginity. Jonghyun’s already fucking me while I moan and whimper, rocking under him taking every inch of his dick. And loving it. I let go of Kibum’s hand and turn around raising my ass up against Jonghyun’s pelvic bones, a groan escapes my mouth.  
I bite on my lip, loving the way this feels.   
Minho removes his fingers and starts to probe his head at Kibum’s hole, his eyes scrunch up and his mouth twists in pain. I tightly grab his hand and lean over to kiss at his neck talk nothings in his ear to help him relax, while Minho lightly plays with his limp member. As I rock above the blonde, sucking his nipples. Soon the latter is all the way in him, lightly rocking, Kibum is hard and small whimpers come from his wet mouth. Small beads of tears roll down his cheeks, from pleasure and pain, his glossy stare up at me. I can’t help this but I lean down a kiss him, tongues lightly touching and playing. I don’t know me a Jonghyun’s ‘rules’ in this relationship, but I’m sure I can do this. I hold my right hand above his head, our finger entangled, my left hand strokes his cheek while my mouth works his.

“mm Baby leave him to Minho and get back to me.”

“But it’s his first time babe, I want him to remember it.”

“I’m sure he will.” Jonghyun smirks and pulls me away from my friend and roughly slams his hips. I lean back and let go of his hand, my sweaty back rubs against Jonghyun’s stomach and chest I rest my head on his shoulder as he fastly slaps against my ass.

“Fuck.” I groan out coming on the bed, I look over at the two ‘making love’ Minho slowly and beautifully, making Kibum blush pink, eyes locked with his, lips crashing together every few seconds. Jonghyun finishes just as fast as I did and pulls out of me. I look up at him gazing down at me.

“Let’s step out.” I whisper and crawl off the bed and follow Jonghyun out the room, both of us grabbing are clothes on the way. I shut the door and grin over at Jonghyun. He smirks back getting what I’m thinking.

“They’re gonna fall in love hardcore after this.” Jonghyun speaks my mind as we put our clothes on in the small dinning room, smiling at each other while doing so.

“Come outside and smoke with me baby.” Jonghyun grabs his box of weed and leads the way to the rooftop ‘porch’ a few chairs a table and two lawn chairs sit about the cement rooftop. We take are place on the lawn chairs and Jonghyun pops off the lid, grinning at me.

“I love you baby.” He comments before lighting up a pre-rolled blunt. I just smile and take the offered smoke.

“I’m really starting to think I’m in love with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” I take another hit and pass it to him.

He chuckles before grabbing the blunt. I sit and stare off into space thinking about my next victim to my knife. The group that’s taking girls to torture and rape for money. I’m thinking about asking Jonghyun to help me out.

“What are you thinking about babe?”

I shrug and look over at him.

“I want you to help me kill some people.” Jonghyun scuffs and looks at me with a bewildered face.

“Really?. . .That’s straight forward.”

“Yeah, you asked me if it was my first time, and it wasn’t, I’ve been torturing and killing people since I was kid, my father and his fathers before him started this way of life. To kill and kill some more to fulfill this evil urge in us, in me. I can’t handle life without killing a living person Jonghyun, and I want you to know this about me. Before you really find out who I’m and decide to bail on my ass.” I chuckle this time and pull out a cigarette light it and suck in the smoke.

“Yeah.” He answers finally.

“I’ll help you out baby, as long as you keep telling me more about yourself.” He smiles at me and passes the blunt over, I have him hold my death stick and take a hit.

“I killed my mom, I made my dad find Jinki. Every full moon my family would dance naked under the moon. We ate the people we killed, I killed a kid when I was eight. I don’t know who or what I am Jonghyun, but it’s pure evil, I’m evil Jonghyun.”

A light breeze passes by and inhale the fresh air. Passing the blunt back.

“You, Taemin are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time since I’ve lived here. And you, Taemin are the best thing in the world, to make it out of that way of life and turn it into something good is what’s worth it baby. You may have done your wrong in time, but now you’re trying to change it, and baby that’s what matters.”

I smile lightly and get off my lawn chair to sit on his lap.

“Shit Jonghyun.” I lean down and kiss his lips and grin pulling away “I think I love you now.”

  
. . . . .

 

 

 

Not much I could say. My mom tried everything she could to help me but every time I pushed her away. I don’t know why too be honest. Maybe I’m not capable of loving, I have respect to my elders and woman, some men. But why is this racking at me.

Because of what he said, I couldn’t help but say it back, because I know I . . .what do I know I . .I don’t know if it’s love or lust, passion or fantasy being played out. An older guy handling me, it’s a turn on I know this at least. But where does this leave me? In love with a man who will love me even when he knows my darkness.

The group of us hang around here at Jonghyun’s, Jinki and Minho are out grabbing coffee for us as I start the meal for the beginning of the day, thanking Jinki and a happy Annie for bringing fish shrimp veggies and rice. I bet Jinki’s asking why Kibum is sitting on his lap and why he won’t walk two feet away from the kid. Jonghyun thankfully has every spice and cooking pan, and a beautiful red rice cooker. I cut slices on top of the fish spice it real good and fry it. The shrimp is frying and tossed with seasonings. The rice cooks and I start cutting the spinach water chestnuts carrots and green beans. Tossing them into the pan of shrimp I walk away to rise my hands off and make my way outside the large patio basking in sunlight. Annie and Kibum sit in the lawn chairs talking. He’s talking about Minho.

“I can’t, this. . .” Annie shakes her head, but grins all the while.

“So is he going to stick around or run off?” Annie asks and I walk back in before I can hear his answer, knowing Minho’s ‘sticking’ around for a good amount of time.

I sigh as I stir the food and a light kiss against my neck pulls me out of me trance. Jonghyun wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me to his chest, nuzzling his nose in the crook of my neck.

“Smells good baby.” I grin loving the complement.

“Lets plan that out today when everyone leaves, okay baby, it’s been on my mind since you told me. . I’m almost exited.” With this I turn around and look at him with wide eyes. Someone like me.

“No one but my family ever said anything like that.”

“Well now I’m a part of that family.”

“Yes, you are, Baby.” I mimic his nickname for me. To which he grins, I love his k9 teeth and ornery grin.  
  
Everything from there flashed by, until night rolls around my heart racing, waiting for Jonghyun. Standing about the alley, my knife feels heaver then it’s ever been, knowing I have partner for this. God it’s thrilling, sickly thrilling, my mind racing with my past life, what I did with my family, my real family. I bite my lip, we’d plan out our way, A, B, C. If anything fails, we’d fail, be caught jailed executed. I wonder if my dad’s still got his shit together. If they’re still around doing the same thing, that warm home feeling fills me up. And I close my eyes, wanting to smell the house I was born in. A tap on my shoulder makes me jump, but with a sigh I smile.

“Shit kid, why you so jumpy. Sorry I was late I was looking for my kill weapon.” He holds up a knife with knuckles, all iron and thick. I grin.

“Damn Jonghyun, trying to make me jealous on are first, date.” I smirk at the ‘date’. Jonghyun grins.

“Well, lets go cause some hell.”

We walk the dark passages and peek into rooms. Buildings being used for food, rats crawling in the flower for noodles. I look away, to jonghyun. We’re walking too the whorehouses and gambling dens run by Triads. The red light district. I’m in hopes that we’ll find something there, catch it by ear shot. We’ll know where to go from there.

We enter the first gambling den, men walking about the room, beautiful woman walking around, serving the men, taking the smacks on the ass, and the rude remarks. I grind my teeth together, walking next To Jonghyun, some stop too talk about getting their dugs, but Jonghyun just tells them ‘go to my den in the morning I’ll hook you up’. I groan waiting about the room, taking up the offered drinks, holding the drink while gazing about the crowd. We walk around some more before Jonghyun worries about not gambling, when that’s what we’re ‘here’ for. I let him go while I continue to pace about the, rather large, den. Decked out with everything a man would like. Low key light’s, woman on poles and serving, a card table every turn you take from the door to the back and sides. It’s close to being an hour and nothing is coming up. In loss of hope to find anything here I make my way back to Jonghyun who’s playing poker, about to win the lot, he places his cards down and everyone groans. He turn around to grin at me before taking his win. Joining me on the walk back to the front, he cashes in his chips and gets his money. Happy with a dorky smirk, Jonghyun and I make are way to the door.

“I’m telling you guys, you can fuck them anyway you want, beat them fucking choke them then you get to kill the girls, torture them. Man the little girl I fucked, was a screamer.” One man brags about his ‘events’ too two other men.

“How much did it cost?”

“one thousand.”

“You’re kidding me. How can I get in when it’s that much.”

“You get to fucking kill someone without police knowing, getting off scott free, I think it’s a fair price.”

All grinning, the other two ask where too go. And me and Jonghyun walk fastly out the den, making our way to the ally that was told. They were drunk, smelt like liquor, they could be paid to ‘tell’ off the place and fuck us over. But I’m sure this is a good shot, they ‘look’ messed up. I could never tell the difference between a lie and truth. My ways have been brought up ‘different’ then right or wrong, just wrong doings, all wrong. Backwards. Never failing to pop in and kill, a bloody mess is what I am. And now I have Jonghyun fallowing in my foot steps. Fucking hell.

“Help me!”

We hear screaming down the ally, Jonghyun goes to run, but I pull him back. My finger over my lips, telling him to be quit. He looks around the corner and back at me.

Whispering “No one.” I nod and we tip toe down the hall, making our way to the first door, again Jonghyun peeks in. And fastly moves back, we make are way back around the corner.

“We’re not gonna do this.” Jonghyun looks over at me. “There’s to many kid, we need a group too take them down. We needda fucking get out of here now.”

Even I can hold back on this, teeth grinding, listening to another scream echo as we walk away.

  
The two of us walk the stairs to Jonghyun’s in silence. Me mad and thirsting for blood, Jonghyun smokes cigarette after cigarette. Nerves on edge like mine. I need this too much to just ‘walk away’ so I pull at Jonghyun’s arm. Stopping and listening.

“I need to do something tonight Jonghyun. It’s something I have to do to get by with myself.”

“I know a place- it’s where I go when shit like this happens.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Leading the way we walk to slum ally, a name I gave it, whores Druggy’s dirty men. It’s a place where pigs play in mud, a stinky bitter hot haven of hell. I could almost smell the blood.

Without even trying we run across a young girl tied up, arms hooked above her head, waist and feet tied to the pole behind her. She wiggles her head back forth, muffed cry’s escape the cloth tied around her mouth.  
Jonghyun instantly runs into the room and cuts all the ties, untying the cloth, he helps her stand, I look around the room, knife to torture lay about a dirty table.

“He- He’s coming back, please help me, get me out of here.”

As she speaks the tall dirty man walks in, a smug look on his face. He wears a white apron covered in darkening blood.

“What’s goin on here?” He asks crossing his arms watching us, Jonghyun let’s go of the girl and grips his knife. The man shuts the door and walks all the way into the room, ready for a fight, me and Jonghyun make our way to each other. Standing side by side, knifes in hand.

The man runs at us nothing in his hands to protect himself. Jonghyun without trying moves to the side and pushes him too the ground. I drop down on top him and startle his waist. Raising my knife with both hands, and slam down with full force, straight through his chest. Blood splatters my clothes and skin, hands becoming slick and sticky, the smell of rust fills my nose and I grin. This is what I love, the dead and the blood.

With a sigh, I stand pulling the knife out slowly, wiping it on my shirt afterwards. Jonghyun watches the girl run out, maybe back home.

Jonghyun and me carry the dead weight to my room of blood and smoke. I hack the man limb by limb, tossing them to Jonghyun who throws the flesh into the pit of fire, flame blazes high on contact and slows down as it burns. He grins over at me before tossing sugar on top of the ashes, putting it down on the bench watching me hack the body. With a shaky hand I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my arm. Sighing, not minding the feeling of drying and dripping blood, he looks over his work. A clean slice at every joint, the pieces of body sits in a pool of red ready to be tossed into the pit. Jonghyun sighs himself and starts picking up the pieces, tossing them into the pit. Shaking his hand off, blood flicks off and I watch him, his every move.   
Letting myself indulge in someone else doing my dirty work. Feeding the flame with flesh. A sharp inhale hits my lungs, not knowing I stopped breathing. I sigh again and walk to him, dropping the knife too the ground. He doesn’t lean down, taking this as a go I wrap my hands around his neck and kiss his lips, he picks me up by the ass and leads me to the wood bench. Sitting me down roughly, I moan into the kiss leaning myself forward. Jonghyun groans and pulls back, lightly rubbing his lips against mine, I can taste his breath. He bites and nips at my bottom lip hand slipping up my shirt, his finger nails lightly graze my skin and I let out a breathy groan. Swallowing against his lips pressed to my neck biting and sucking. He pulls off my shirt and tosses it to the side. With a flinch and a sharp intake of air Jonghyun bites down so hard, I know I’m bleeding. He stays on that spot, sucking and lapping his tongue over the wound. My mouth opens but nothing comes out, just eating air while withering under his mouths work. The way it stings when he leaves the open wound to trail his lips down my chest, biting roughly on each of my nipples. I moan out now. Rolling my hips into his hands holding them down, Jonghyun clicks his tongue with a smirk.

“Now now baby, enjoy this, not everyday do I get please a kid with taste like yours..”

I let out a long groan and smirk.

“Yeah, tell me, is this your first time pleasing a ‘kid’ covered in blood?”

He pulls back with a wild grin.

“Yeah, and it’s kinda hot on you.”

I smirk and turn my head to the side, feeling my cheeks go hot. Jesus good heavens above please forgive me for doing this to someone. I turn my head back, staring him over.

“Fuck me on the ground.”   
We both swallow and Jonghyun lifts me off, I stand and grab his hand pulling him with me.

“I have some stuff in here.”

I pull a box out form the corner and open it. Pulling the two blankets out, dirty, but I’m sure Jonghyun would feel a little more at comfort with it this way. I toss them to the ground, Jonghyun grabs them and unfolds the fabric laying down he grin over at me, hand out.

I take it and we lay down on the ground, I lay back groan at the pain on my shoulder.

“You alright baby, I didn’t mean to bite that hard.”

“Christ Jonghyun don’t talk like that, I like pain, for fucks sake.” I let another breathy groan out as he bites down harder on it, drawling blood this time, I can feel it trickling out the wound. He laps his tongue over the blood and smirks. The tint of red painted on his lips turns me on like nothing more. And I lean up, loving the pain aching throb on his shoulder blade. It’s great but damn when was the last he was bit like this. I pull his head to my lips, we kiss while undressing, both smirking. Naked and grinding against each other we both let a shaky moan out. Jonghyun wraps a hand around our dick, pumping roughly, I moan a little to loud for my liking but it fuels my mans fire and I always aim to please. So I repeat myself every time he licks at the open bite mark while jacking us off.

With swift movement Jonghyun moves back, jack me off while watching, waiting. I pull my hands back behind my head and moan, releasing my seed in his hand.

“That a go baby.” Jonghyun rubs himself lubing his dick with my cum. For fucks sake. I groan as he thrusts himself against my asshole, rubbing his tip back and forth a few times before pushing himself into me. The way I like it, no prep just the beautiful tightening of my insides holding him close to me, we’re together as one now. I wrap my legs around his waist and enjoy the pressure of his thrusts, rolling my insides, I moan it out and tell him to pick up the pace. To which he does, teeth bared and grunts loud, he fucks me.  
Going at it like a wild animal trying to release it’s every loving emotion he can. Panting now I push him back to roll around and stick my ass up to him. He flicks his hips back into home base with a throaty grunt, it’s great. I push back against his thrusts and swallow my drool pooling in my mouth.

Jonghyun leans over my body kissing the middle of my back and up to the base of my neck, all while pounding me senseless. It sends shiver down my spine and my legs shake under the weight of pleasure.

“Fucking hell.” I moan out, coming again. Jonghyun’s chuckle is rough and he holds me tight against his chest. Teeth nipping at my ear his breath hot and heavy, it all turns me on.  
He groans while letting himself go, the warmth pools inside me and I breath out a relieving sigh. Waiting for him to pull out I lick my lips. Jonghyun kisses at my neck, slowly removing himself from me. We’re drunken in this emotion where the sky and earth are tangled, this new world we rule together. With blood, lust and everything more, this is my little piece of heaven in my hell.


End file.
